


Definitely Don't Settle

by ThatisneverThat



Series: Jane & Yaz [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Drama, Established Relationship, F/F, Implied Sexual Content, Minor Character Death, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:42:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 39,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22758736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatisneverThat/pseuds/ThatisneverThat
Summary: Following on from the events in 'Jane. Jane Smith', a few years have passed. Yaz and Jane have progressed well individually, but is their relationship suffering?
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Series: Jane & Yaz [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636240
Comments: 85
Kudos: 104





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> We're back in business guys. Huge time jump, plenty of ideas, let's see how life is going for our favourite duo.

**4 years later**

It was a regular occurrence that Jane and Yaz would go for days passing like ships in the night, depending on shifts. That had been the case this week with Yaz on nights and Jane on placement during the day. When Yaz finished work on Friday morning she was more than grateful for the end of her night shift run. She'd finished late which meant missing Jane as she left for the hospital at 8. Once again she climbed into an empty bed, just the hint of warmth left from where her girlfriend had recently left. Despite climbing in on her own side she automatically moved to lie where she could take in Jane's scent while she drifted off. 

Meanwhile, Jane was just starting her day. She had just begun a new block and was at the end of her first week in paediatric A&E, and she was loving it. 

"Early again Jane?" Doctor Peters, her mentor, greeted her. "I've got something for you hold on," she disappeared into the office quickly before coming out with a card. "The parents of that 3 year old girl from yesterday? They dropped it off about an hour ago - specifically addressed to you," she handed the card over to Jane who looked a little shocked. "You did a great job there, you're brilliant with the kids."

Jane wasn't entirely sure what to say. "Thank you, I'll open it later - need to go and put my stuff away," she smiled gratefully and made her way to the staffroom.

Once she was in the department with her fellow students the day got underway like any other. There was something exciting about this department, and Jane loved that she was always on the go. Children injured themselves in some weird and wonderful ways, but there were some real poorly ones as well. Yesterday's little girl was only 3 and she had already had 2 major heart operations, and it looked like she was going to need another one. She was so scared, so were her parents, but Jane somehow just managed to help distract her and make her feel better about it all which in turn helped her parents too. It just felt natural to her.

It had been a pretty steady morning, until everyone's least favourite sound - the emergency phone. Most of the week, when that had gone off, Doctor Peters had asked of the other doctors or nurses to look after them, but this time something different happened. "Jane, want to observe?" she asked. With no time to think about it, Jane quickly nodded. "Great, with me."

The team assembled in the paediatric resus room and were briefed on the incoming case. It was an 8 year old girl who had been hit by a car on her way back to school after a dentist appointment. They had 5 minutes before the ambulance was due to arrive and it felt like the longest 5 minutes of Jane's life. She watched as the well practiced team got everything prepared and planned their initial assessments in depth. Doctor Peters would occasionally explain something to Jane despite how busy they were. 

Then, almost out of nowhere, there was an 8 year old scared child in front of her, surrounded by medical staff. The handover was quick but detailed and it was clear this poor girl was in a lot of pain with a lot of possible injuries. Each member of staff worked seamlessly, it was almost like a well choreographed dance routine, except each step was guided by the last. Jane was almost in awe of how well they worked, although she couldn't completely focus on that when she spotted something else. "Doctor Peters?" she spoke up, slightly nervously. Her mentor looked up at her quickly, clearly waiting for her to continue. "Has anyone checked her back? She's not lying on it properly."

Doctor Peters took a step back in Jane's direction and looked where she had been. "We need to log roll her, quickly," she moved back into the circle of people. "Freya we are just going to turn you over sweetheart. It might hurt a little but it won't last long. You're doing really well," she told the young girl before immediately leading the manoeuvre. It didn't take her long to spot the problem. "She must have landed on some debris. We need to get her scanned straight away. Let's sedate her and head to CT. Doctor Green, you go with her. I'll speak to the parents. Any problems you call me straight away." Everyone quickly agreed with the plan and she ripped her gloves off. Jane automatically followed her out of resus. 

Just before they reached the relatives room, Doctor Peters stopped. "That was a brilliant spot Jane, you might have just saved that girl's life. I'm really impressed with you this week," she told her. "Go and take a quick break, grab a drink. I'd better do this bit on my own."

* * *

Yaz had purposefully set an alarm to make sure she got up in time to make dinner. She quickly popped out and grabbed a few added details, wanting to make this perfect.

She had realised something during her shift, they'd fallen into a pattern. It had been… months, maybe longer, since they'd done anything but eat, work and sleep. Well, excluding the odd meal with friends when they could actually make it.

Today was going to be different. They had a rare 3 days together and Yaz was determined to make it special. 

She checked her watch, Jane should be home any minute now so she put everything into position and went to hide in the bedroom until she arrived. 

It was the longest 10 minutes of her life, but finally the door opened. Yaz could hear her drop her bag in the usual spot. "Yaz you here?" she called out but Yaz stayed quiet, waiting for her to go through. "Wait, what's all this? Yaz?" She kept listening as she followed the petals Yaz had laid to the lounge where she had set up a table with a candle in the centre. "Where are you?" 

Finally, Yaz came out from her hiding spot and walked up behind her, covering her eyes. "Welcome home Doctor Smith," she stood on tip toes and gently kissed her neck in the spot she knew Jane loved.

All the tension in Jane's body immediately dropped and she turned around to face Yaz who let her hands fall down Jane's arms until their hands met and fingers intertwined. "What's all this in aid of?"

"You, being amazing," Yaz kissed her softly. "I've missed you so much this week. I'm sorry I was late back this morning." 

Jane shook her head, "don't be silly, you have important things to do Detective Sergeant Khan," Jane grinned, their foreheads still touching. "How was your first week?" 

"Much the same as last week, but with a different title," she shrugged and finally stepped back. "It's good though, the responsibility. Anyway, far more importantly - how is paediatrics treating you?" 

Jane kept holding her hands, smiling widely. "I love it Yaz. It's the best! It's so hard sometimes but I love it. My mentor is really good and she even let me go in on a resus case today."

"I knew you would smash it, you're so good with Priya." Jane slipped her arms around Yaz's waist as she mentioned her sister's little girl.

"She stares at me, I don't like it," Jane stuck her bottom lip out. 

Yaz laughed and kissed her quickly, "I need to get dinner out. Sit down, I won't be long. You want wine?"

"Most definitely," Jane smiled and let her go while she went to sort everything out.

* * *

Waking up in the morning among tangled sheets and the sun glaring through a small gap in the curtains was the sign of a good night. “My beautiful girl,” Jane muttered into her hair, probably not yet aware that Yaz was awake. 

“Says you,” Yaz replied quietly. “Last night was perfect, thank you.” 

“What are you thanking me for? You did all the hard work,” Jane replied, kissing her softly, “in more ways than one.” 

Yaz giggled, blushing a little but looking at her sincerely, “I wanted you to feel like a princess. It’s the least you deserve.” 

“It’s more than I deserve, I’ve barely been the best of girlfriend’s recently. I mean you got promoted and I was too busy to even take you for dinner,” Jane ran her fingers up and down Yaz’s bare arm. 

“Jane you’re a fourth-year medical student. You’re busy, it’s okay. We knew what we were getting into with all this,” she kissed her again. “I’m just proud of you for doing this, and doing so well.” 

Jane shrugged, “I’m just a student.” 

“You’re top of your year. Stop putting yourself down Jane,” Yaz replied. 

“Considering how socially inept and terrible I am at general life it’s some kind of miracle.” 

Yaz immediately jumped up and straddled Jane, pinning her down on the bed and making her squeal in the process. “Jane Smith you are wonderful,” she kissed her, “gorgeous,” she kissed her again, “talented,” one more kiss, “and you’re going to be the best doctor anyone has ever seen.” 

“You are completely naked Yasmin Khan,” Jane replied, staring up at her.

“If that distracts you so easily, maybe I need to take back my last statement,” Yaz chuckled. 

Jane reached up, tucking Yaz’s hair back behind her ear, “nah, just you that distracts me.”

“Wanna show me just how much?” Yaz asked, leaning down to kiss her once more. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are go go go! More character introductions you ask? Yes indeedy.

“Why did I let you talk me into this?” Jane groaned, checking her bowtie in the mirror for the 10th time. 

Yaz came out from the bathroom and appeared behind her, “purely to get you in that outfit.” 

Jane looked up in the middle and felt her breath catch in her throat at the sight of Yaz behind her. “Geez. Yaz you look… incredible,” she got out and turned around to take her in properly. There was silence for a moment before she pulled a grumpy face. “You’re going to make me spend a whole evening looking at you in that dress when I can barely touch you. That’s not fair.” 

“And you in that suit is? We will both be suffering, but it’s your best friend’s birthday and this is how she wants to celebrate so we are going,” Yaz placed her hands on Jane’s stomach, slipping them under her jacket to pull her close. “We will make up for it later, I promise.” 

“We will?” Jane said in a slightly husky voice that she knew would frustrate Yaz. She smirked when she felt her girlfriend’s grip on her tighten, but her smugness was short lived when Yaz reached up and undid her collar button, kissing her pulse point firmly, scraping her teeth slowly. Jane let a brief moan shoot out of her mouth and felt Yaz grin into her kiss before she finally let go.

“Just to remind you,” Yaz took a step back, “now sort yourself out we have dinner to get to,” she winked at her and disappeared out of the bedroom.

* * *

After their short interlude, they were a couple of minutes late to the restaurant. The other four had already arrived, including the birthday girl. Clara jumped up and ran over to Jane. "I was beginning to wonder if you two were going to turn up!" As she approached, she noted something. "Ah, I can see why," she smirked and raised an eyebrow. Jane blushed and hit her arm to tell her to shut up while simultaneously adjusting her collar again. 

"I'm here aren't I?" Jane finally managed to speak. "Happy birthday dufus," she grinned. 

Clara chuckled and hugged her, "you do look pretty hot I'll give you that one Yaz," she chuckled and gave Yaz a quick hug too.

"Happy birthday," Yaz smiled. "Sorry for being late, totally my bad.

They made their way to the table and greeted the other two. "Finally back from your travels then," Yaz sat down next to Amy and her husband. 

"And this time we are actually hanging around," Amy replied. 

Yaz had been introduced to her and Rory just before Jane had started medical school. Things had been difficult then, there was a lot of history between Jane and Amy - not all of it good - but things had changed and Jane, Amy and Clara were back to being the best of friends. 

"Well, good to hear - Jane will be pleased."

"How is she doing?" Amy asked. 

Immediately Yaz beamed, "absolutely brilliant. I mean she has loads of work and that but her dedication to her degree is wonderful.

"You talking about me?" Jane asked, draping an arm around Yaz's shoulder and leaning on her shoulder. "I am such an interesting subject after all." 

"Modest with it," Yaz rolled her eyes but chuckled. "Shouldn't you be looking at the menu?

"Oh she is," Amy replied, noting where Jane's eyes were actually settled. 

Yaz looked round. "Oi, eyes front lady," she got Jane's attention back. "Your friend is back from America, talk to her."

* * *

The dinner was lovely. Really, genuinely lovely. It was nice for the six of them to all be in one place again and Yaz did feel like part of the group now, having been in on the occasional Skype call with Amy and Rory while they'd been away. As the night rolled on there was more wine and more laughter, and a lot more touching from Jane. While Amy was telling a story about how some guy had tried to chat her up in a subway station, Jane's hands were getting ever higher up Yaz's thigh.

The dark-haired woman leaned into her, "that is really distracting," Yaz whispered into her ear. 

"I know," Jane whispered back. "Your fault for wearing a dress with such a high side slit," she added.

Yaz had to bite the inside of her lip to stop herself from reacting when Jane squeezed the inside of her thigh. "Follow my lead," she whispered and reached into her bag for her phone, taking a deep breath before pulling on a worried face as she looked at the screen.

"You okay Yaz?" Clara asked. 

"I- don't know. Something is wrong with Priya, I need to ring my sister. I'm just gonna go to the loos a sec…" she stood up, still leaving a slightly dazed look on her face. 

Jane watched her go and then looked back at Clara, "do I go after her? I never know-"

"Yes, you do. Go on," Clara told her. Jane knew she would. 

Quickly she pushed her chair back and jogged through the restaurant towards the bathrooms. When she got in they looked completely empty. "Yaz?" she whisper shouted. "Where did you go?" she asked again but quickly got her answer when an arm appeared from one of the cubicles and pulled her in, shutting the door after her. "What are yommf…" she was shut up by Yaz slamming their lips together and kissing her deeply. 

"I cannot believe I just used my niece to get you in here," Yaz spoke between kisses. "I'm a terrible person."

"Not from where I'm standing," Jane replied, returning her kisses with equal ferocity and sliding her hands down Yaz's sides. "We can't be in here too long," she spoke again before moving her kisses to focus in on Yaz's neck, returning her favour from earlier that evening. 

"So get on with it," Yaz encouraged, immediately being pushed back against the wall. 

* * *

"Missing something?" Jane asked when they left the cubicle, twisting Yaz's underwear on her finger. Yaz quickly grabbed them off her. 

"You arse, just put them in your pocket - consider them a memento. Now go back to the table and tell them I just need a minute, I'll cover the rest on my return," she told Jane.

The blonde retook the underwear back and slotted them into her inside pocket, winking at Yaz before leaving the room. Yaz turned back to the mirror, readjusting her hair to cover up the mark on her neck and trying to tidy it up a little from where Jane's hands had been curled up in there.

Finally she walked out and returned back to the table where they all looked up at her, "it's fine. Well, she has a bug but it'll be fine. Sonya just likes to panic and… well, so do I apparently."

"Glad she's alright. You can go home if you need to, honestly I don't mind," Clara told her. 

"Nope all fine, honestly. Why don't I grab another round of drinks from the bar?" Yaz suggested and grabbed her purse before standing up.

"I'll help!" Amy called after her and joined her. They stood at the bar waiting for service. "So Jane's bow tie is wonky."

"Is it?" Yaz replied innocently.

Amy nodded, "it wasn't before you went to the loos."

Yaz shrugged, "she was hugging me maybe I knocked it."

"And her mouth just fell into your neck?" Amy asked, moving Yaz's hair just enough to show off the mark.

Immediately Yaz reached up and pulled her hair back down, "yes alright shush!” 

“I knew it! Oh my gosh Yasmin Khan you did not seem the type,” Amy smirked. “Well well well, what a story.” 

“Preferably one you’ll keep to yourself,” Yaz replied and turned her attention briefly to the bartender as he came to take the order. 

As soon as he turned away, Amy continued. “Rory and I don’t do secrets,” she chuckled.

Yaz groaned, “ergh whatever. She looks hot in that suit,” she shrugged. 

“You look pretty hot in that dress too, to be fair,” Amy nudged her. “No judgement here girl, live your best life.”

* * *

When they made it home it was pretty late. Yaz opened the flat door and stumbled in slightly, with Jane reaching out to stop her from falling. “Too many cocktails me thinks,” Jane chuckled and shut the door behind her. “Let’s get you to bed.” 

“Mmm sleep sounds great right about now,” Yaz kicked off her heels and made her way to the bedroom. Jane bent down to pick up the shoes she had left to trip over in the morning and put them away in the designated cupboard. “Jane!” Yaz shouted from the bedroom so she jogged over. “I can’t get the zip down,” she stuck her bottom lip out at Jane who rolled her eyes. “What?” 

“You become such a child after alcohol,” she laughed and moved around behind her to lower the zip on her dress. 

“How do you act so… normal?” Yaz complained. “And you don’t get hangovers, it’s not fair,” she moaned, stepping out of the dress and flopping down on the bed. “I’m not getting up tomorrow.” 

“Mmm I know,” Jane chuckled. “At least get into bed properly before you fall asleep.” 

Yaz grumbled and slowly crawled up the bed and under the covers. “Are you joining me?” 

“I’ll be in shortly, just gonna grab some water. Want some?” Jane asked, but there was barely a reply and it was soon evident she had dropped off to sleep. That left Jane free to sort things out, finishing tidying Yaz’s stuff away and going to the kitchen. She grabbed herself some water and downed it before grabbing another glass and some paracetamol for Yaz, taking them back to the room and placing them by her side of the bed. “Sleep well my love,” she leant down and kissed her forehead before quickly changing into joggers and a jumper and moving over to sit at her laptop - deadlines were a bitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well isn't the world just cute and fluffy and wonderful right now? *side eyes*


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay things are about to start getting deep guys. But I'll throw some cuteness in there to start... 
> 
> TW// Death. (But not from our faves don't worry you can breathe).

Yaz woke up with one hell of a headache. She groaned, rubbing her eyes and reaching out for Jane, but the other side of the bed was empty. She scanned the room - no Jane, but there was a glass of water and 2 paracetamol on her bedside table - what a godsend. She quickly downed them and then the rest of the water before sitting up properly and slipping her legs out of bed. 

“Nope! Back in bed,” Jane ordered her from the doorway behind her. Yaz turned around to find her standing with two plates of full english breakfast. “You informed me last night that you were not getting up today and therefore I have brought breakfast to you.” 

“You are an absolute angel,” Yaz sat back up on the bed and took the tray from her. “Did you sleep okay?” 

Jane climbed back into bed beside her, “I had a great snuggle buddy,” she smiled. “I love how clingy you get after drinking.” 

“I hate how much you take the piss out of me after,” Yaz stuck her tongue out briefly before tucking in to her breakfast. “Oh my word this is the best thing you’ve ever done.” 

“I don’t know if I’m flattered or offended,” Jane laughed and started eating. 

Yaz pretty much inhaled her food before putting the tray down on the floor and leaning against Jane’s shoulder, “I’ve missed you,” she muttered.

Jane nodded, kissing her head, “I’m sorry things are so busy right now.” 

“We knew what we were getting into,” Yaz sighed. “It’s just difficult sometimes when we can go for days without even speaking to each other, or weeks where the only times I see you are when we pass on our way in and out of work. I know it’s been like this for 3 years now but with my promotion as well...” she paused and looked down at their now intertwined fingers, “maybe I should have turned it down.” 

Jane moved her tray away and turned to face her, “Yaz no! You’ve wanted this for years.” 

“But what about us?” Yaz mumbled into her shoulder. 

“Things will get better,” Jane kissed her head again, “we’ve got this far right?” Yaz nodded, “then we can keep going. Now we’ve got around 15 hours left before we’re both back to work. Anything you want to do?” 

Yaz thought about that for a moment, “wanna go to the zoo?” 

“ _ You  _ want to go to the zoo?” Jane questioned. 

“Yeah, don’t you want to?” Yaz questioned. 

“Of course I do! You just don’t normally suggest it,” Jane smiled. “Sure we can go.” 

So they did go to the zoo, again. Not that they’d been as much recently, but Jane loved it there - that’s why Yaz really wanted to go. Even as they walked through the entrance she saw Jane’s face light up. “Yaz let’s go check on the penguins! Oh wait no maybe the monkeys first… or the birds?” 

“We’ve got all afternoon, we can go everywhere,” Yaz chuckled and grabbed her hand - half as a sign of affection, half to avoid her running off. “Maybe just in a logical order? I'm not running around like last time."

Jane gave her a disgruntled look before giving in and setting off towards the tigers. Yaz walked just a step behind to watch her as they walked, so much so that she almost didn't realised when they'd reached their destination. "Hey look they've got cubs!" Jane smiled excitedly and looked to Yaz who immediately jumped out of her daydream and looked into the cage as the cubs were playing. "Did you know that tigers can jump over 5 meters in length? That's more than 3 of you," Jane told her - ever the fount of useless knowledge. "Every tiger has a unique set of stripes that they are born with - just like your fingerprint."

Yaz let her list off her endless supply of facts, most of which she had heard before but that didn't matter - that's why she had wanted to come here. This was Jane in relaxed mode and it was one of the most adorable things about her. These were the times she loved the most out of them all. As they moved around the zoo and Yaz learnt more and more about each animal she continued to watch her girlfriend in action. "You know some penguin species mate for life? And even though they disappear for such long periods they can still find their mate when they arrive back home. How wonderful is that?" Jane asked and looked over to Yaz, suddenly confused when she did. "Wait, why are you always watching me? The penguins are far nicer," she gestured to the pool in front of them. 

"Because I find you wonderful to watch," she smiled softly. 

"Why did you want to come here?" Jane asked her.

Yaz knew, at this point, that her plan had been rumbled. "Because I know you love it, and I love that you love it. I love seeing your eyes light up as we see each animal and the endless facts you can tell me. I love that despite the fact this is probably our 25th visit in 5 years-"

"34th actually," Jane interrupted. "Sorry that's not your point is it? Carry on."

After a quick chuckle, Yaz did exactly that. "Despite the fact we've been so much, I never tire of watching you watch them." She finished, leaning into Jane and resting her head on the blonde's shoulder. 

"But we could be doing something you enjoy as well," Jane replied.

"I do enjoy this. This is what I wanted to do today, so stop questioning it and tell me more about penguins," Yaz smiled and settled in to listen to more facts.

* * *

Yaz was on day shifts this week, which meant they would - or should - at least see each other in the evenings. She had already been up for an hour when Jane woke up and was in her suit trousers and blouse ready to go. "Damn you look hot today," Jane commented when she appeared in the bedroom to say goodbye. 

"Thanks, I think. Not the look I was going for but I'll take it," she grinned and leant down to kiss her. 

"Well you also look ready to take down the bad guys, if that helps?" Jane grinned. "Have a good day. See you tonight," she muttered almost into Yaz's mouth as they stayed connected. 

"You too," Yaz replied, kissing her one last time before pushing herself back up to grab her jacket, bag and head out. 

When she got to work, Jason was already waiting in the office for her. Worryingly, he had the car keys in his hand. "We off out already?" 

"Case just came in. We've been assigned," he told her. 

"You don't sound so thrilled about that?" Yaz questioned him. 

Jason pushed himself up off the desk he had been leaning on. "It's a murder," he told her. Their first. She had only been promoted a week. "Grayson wants you to lead, but if you need me to fight your corner-" 

"No, I've got it," she grabbed the keys out of his hand. Their good weekend had her feeling like she could do anything. "Let's go." Jason gave her a hesitant look, "Jase let's just go before I think about it too much." 

He nodded and they made their way to the car. On arrival, she jumped out and made her way over to the forensics team who were already on scene. "Hi, DS Khan and DS Linham, you must be the pathologist?" she asked.

The guy who stood up immediately addressed Jason, "Harry Pugh. I take it you're leading the case?"

Yaz rolled her eyes, "that would be me, actually." 

"No offence love but you look like you just graduated," he scoffed.

"Yeah, they like to get us working on the high profile murders young. So, what have you got for me?" 

Jase chuckled under his breath and Yaz smirked a little at the pathologist's face. After his stunned silence, however, he finally told them about the case. It was high profile too, as the brief had told them. There were officers all around the area. The victim was the son of the headteacher at the local independent school. He was locally famous, you might say - did a lot for the community. The lad was only 17, Yaz recognised him from the papers. 

"Are you still okay with this?" Jason asked her in private when they finished speaking to the team.

Yaz nodded, "yeah. I've got to do this, if only to prove people like him," she glared at Pugh, "that I can." 

"Yeah he's a bit of an arse. Still, you're in charge boss, what's the plan?" he asked.

"Not much more we can do here. Guess we'd better rip the plaster off and go speak to his father," she sighed. "I've always hated this."

* * *

Walking through the school gates felt like walking into a film set. It was truly a stereotypical private school in an old grand building. It was almost the start of the school day and there were students bustling around everywhere, but they ignored the looks from them as they made their way to the headmasters office. 

Showing their ID to his secretary, Yaz and Jason were soon let into the office. "Look you're going to have to make this quick I have a lot to sort out."

He seemed flustered. "I think you should sit down Mr Fraser," Yaz told him. 

"I really don't have time, we're trying to get in contact with my son," he replied.

"I know Mr Fraser, that's why we are here," Yaz told him calmly.

"Well I didn't call you?!" he raised his voice but Yaz stood firm and waited for him to back down, finally sitting down at his desk and gesturing for them to sit down.

Jason patted her shoulder subtly as they sat down which Yaz was a little grateful for. She'd broken news like this many times in her job before, but never in these circumstances. Never for murder. Never as the lead in the case.

"Mr Fraser, this morning we discovered a body in the fields behind surbaton woods. We believe it to be your son," she told him. Immediately the tough persona on him broke and she saw the devastation. 

_ Hold it together Yaz. _

"I'm so sorry to break the news this way. It's never something we want to do. I can't imagine what's going through your head right now," she gave him a second.

Finally he looked up, "you're sure it's him? There hasn't been a mistake?" 

"We will need someone to come in and confirm the ID for us, but we believe so yes. I'm really very sorry," she repeated. "Can we get you anything?" 

He shook his head, but in the silence there was a knock at the door. "NOT NOW!" He suddenly screamed, making Yaz jump slightly. She glanced to Jason and then nodded towards the door and he got the message, going to deal with whoever it was.

A few seconds later he returned with a woman - Fraser's wife, Yaz recognised her. She taught here. "John what's going on? This man says he's a detective?" She walked over to him.

The headmaster stood up and immediately pulled her into a hug, clearly whispering to her what had happened as she soon started crying. Yaz and Jason shared a look - now wasn't the time to start questioning them. "Would you like us to give you some time? We can come back to speak to you. We are going to need to visit your house…"

"Go ahead, you can take my keys we only live next door," John Fraser told them. 

The detectives nodded gratefully, taking the keys and leaving the room. "That is officially the worst thing about this job."

"Then let's do the best thing next - let's find out what happened," Jason told her. Yaz nodded, that was why they were in this after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Doctor Who or Silent Witness? Who knows. Anyway this isn't just going to turn into a murder mystery don't worry. I have plans.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guyss! New chapter - kind of a filler I guess, but enjoy anyway...

When Yaz walked in from work she was pretty emotionally drained. They’d been through the son’s room with a fine toothed comb and come up with very little, but the laptop was still to be examined. The school were being fully informed tomorrow and then they had a lot of people to talk to. She threw her keys on the side and chucked her jacket over the arm of the sofa before sitting down on it. 

“Oh hey you’re back! I’m just cooking, how was your day?” Jane called from the kitchen. When there was no response she turned the hob down and came out into the lounge, “Yaz?” she rushed over, “are you okay? You look pale.” 

“Sorry, I’m alright honestly. Going to have to get used to it,” she looked up and kissed her. “I can’t tell you what’s going on honey, I’m sorry. How was your day? I need to think about something else,” she patted the sofa beside her. 

Jane sat down and started filling her in on her day. Yaz listened as she spoke animatedly about various patients, “honestly Yaz you’d have loved him he was really cute. He couldn’t decide between colours for his cast so I came up with a game to decide.” 

Her enthusiasm for the job relaxed Yaz, “you are so wonderful,” she told Jane. “You seem so settled on this placement.” 

“Yaz I love it, I love the whole department. I feel so at home there,” she sat back and smiled. “My mentor really wants to meet you, you know?” 

Yaz looked round at her, eyebrow raised, “you’ve been talking about me then?” 

“Oh yeah I tell everyone about you, you’re too great not to,” Jane replied as if it was perfectly normal. Yaz just chuckled and kissed her cheek. 

“Did you say something about food?” she asked and they settled into an evening routine.

Jane wasn’t surprised when Yaz fell asleep on the sofa after dinner, she seemed shattered. She let her stay resting on her lap, but carefully leant over and grabbed her uni tablet to do some reading for her latest essay. 

She was so engrossed in it that she didn’t even realise when Yaz woke again. “That looks exciting,” she muttered sleepily. 

“Mmm I don’t like this module very much, but gotta be done,” she replied, “how are you feeling?” 

“Content,” she replied. “Jane, does Danny work at the private school?” 

“That’s a very random question,” Jane raised an eyebrow.

“I know, just occurred to me,” Yaz replied vaguely. 

“Well yes, he does, but I thought you already knew that - Clara and I take the piss out of him all the time for it,” Jane chuckled.

She did know, but somehow doubted herself for a moment. “Hm, okay,” she replied. “I’m gonna get ready for bed. You coming?” 

“In a bit, just gonna finish this off. Don’t wait up,” Jane smiled and let her go.

* * *

Yaz and Jason had agreed to meet at the school that morning, as they had to be there early to meet with the staff before the day started. As she had expected, when Danny arrived and spotted her he rushed over, “what are you doing here? We’ve been told nothing.” 

“You’ll be told something soon, once everyone’s here,” Yaz reassured him. “Are you alright?” 

“Fine, just confused,” he shrugged. 

“I’m still not going to tell you,” Yaz told him, “we might be friends but this has to be strictly professional,” she told him. They’d met with the deputy head when they first arrived, and he’d filled them in on a few details - including the fact that Mr Pink was his form tutor. Joe Fraser was a popular kid, despite the fact his Dad was the head. This was going to be difficult.

Finally the staffroom was full and the deputy head gave the briefing. Yaz scanned the room as she spoke, taking in the reactions. She saw the shock on Danny’s face, and made a mental note to check up on him as a friend. She was so distracted thinking about it all that she almost missed her cue to speak, but just about caught the words and took a step forward. 

She gave the usual ramble, explaining that they would be interviewing multiple members of staff as well as students after they had been informed. “I know this is a huge shock, and it’s going to be a difficult few weeks to come, but we will do our best to keep things under control. The office will have my direct number if anyone needs it.” 

Once the meeting was over and staff began to scatter, Yaz relaxed a little. Jason tried to reassure her she’d done well, but there wasn’t much time to talk before they heard screaming from outside. Almost instantly, Danny came running back in to the staffroom, “we’ve got a problem,” he immediately looked at Yaz who nodded and followed him back out.

There was a mass of students just outside the main school doors, and once she’d got through them she found two kids fighting. “Get the crowds away,” she instructed Danny and then looked at Jason behind her who knew exactly what she wanted and they moved in to take one student each. “Calm it! Right now!” she restrained the girl, even though she was doing her best to fight her off. 

“It’s all his fault!” the girl screamed at the boy who Jason had restrained, “I told you there was something wrong!” 

“Alright, I guess the news has got out,” Yaz sighed, “but please stop fighting me. Let’s talk about this properly, I really don’t want to have to arrest anyone for anything else today.” 

The girl finally relaxed and Yaz was able to remove her grip a little. “You’re police?” she asked.

“Yes, I am. We’re going to go and talk while my colleague speaks to your friend over there - sound like a plan?” 

* * *

It was a long day at the school, and really hadn’t gone entirely to plan, but they’d got a lot of useful information and a few leads. Their shift was almost over and Yaz was downing what felt like her 10th cup of tea that day when her phone rang. “DS Khan,” she answered casually without paying much attention to the caller ID.

“Yasmin, it’s DI Grainger,” the voice on the other end answered. Just about avoiding choking on her tea, Yaz stood up a little straighter - which was stupid, given that she couldn’t be seen. “I’m aware your shift is nearly over, but we’ve just had a report from some officers dealing with an assault that we think could be related to your case. Any chance you can pop up to the hospital? I’ll text you the details.” 

“Absolutely sir,” she replied. “I’ll head up now.” 

After grabbing Jason from the office, they made their way up to the hospital. It was a 14 year old boy from the school who had been attacked on his way home. Yaz knew the name, they spoke to the lad earlier as he was Joe’s mentee and had been one of the last people to see him. The kid had been really shaken up and Yaz felt awful for having to question him. They were asked to wait in reception for a few moments and Yaz felt herself getting impatient, concerned about what could have happened. “Detectives- oh! Hi Yaz and Jason!” Jane came out to them, smiling when she saw her girlfriend and her partner. “Doctor Peters asked me to come and grab you. I thought you were finishing at 5? Figured they’d send someone else.” 

“I was, but then this happened,” Yaz replied. “What can you tell us about Billy?” she asked, following her through into the department.

“He’s a great kid, very clever. Laughs at my jokes too so he must be good,” Jane chuckled.

Yaz rolled her eyes, “yes Jane, but what about his injuries and how he received them?” 

“Oh that! Well he’s got a broken arm, cuts and bruises to his face and abdominal bruising but no significant internal bleeding. He wasn’t saying much, but I managed to get out of him that these older boys had jumped him after school because he spoke to you guys. He was a little scared of the officers before, but we spoke about it and he knows he needs to speak to help. I promised you would help him as much as possible,” Jane told her.

Yaz smiled, “that’s really helpful. Thank you. Where is he?” 

Jane took them through to his cubicle, “hey there kid, how are you doing?” 

Yaz noted how Billy’s face seemed to light up a little when Jane entered, he clearly trusted her. His Mum was sat in the corner also, glaring at Yaz and Jason. “Hi Billy, remember us?” 

“You’re the reason he’s in here,” his Mum spoke up harshly. 

“Mrs King it’s not the detectives’ fault,” Jane told her, “they’re just doing their jobs.” 

“Jane is right, Mrs King. Billy was incredibly helpful to us earlier. I’m really sorry this has happened, and we are going to speak to those involved. It’s quite likely this could be linked to Joe’s death and so we need to get as much information as we can. Only if you’re okay with that Billy, we don’t want to stress you out anymore,” Yaz told her.

The boy looked to his Mum, then to Jane, then back to Yaz. “Jane said you were her friend.” 

Yaz nodded, “been talking about me has she?” 

“Yeah, she said you were the best detective ever,” Billy replied. Yaz raised an eyebrow at Jane before looking back to the boy. 

“Well, she’s a pretty good doctor too. So how about if we have a little chat, your Mum and Jane can both stay?” That seemed to work.

* * *

They ended up going home together by the time Yaz had finished with Billy and spoken to Doctor Peters. “You are so sexy in work mode,” Jane smiled as they shut the door to the flat. “You did really well in there.” 

“Says you, you had him really calmed down. You know that mentor of yours adores you,” Yaz told her. 

“She’s really lovely, she’s let me go on in some quite intense cases - like today I guess,” Jane shrugged her coat off and took Yaz’s as well to hang up. “So I take it that case is why you were stressed last night?” Jane asked the question they both knew she’d been holding off on.

Yaz kicked her shoes off, “mmm… yeah. We’ve got a press conference tomorrow morning so it’s going to be out there - that’s when things start to get more intense. I might be in for a few late nights,” she sighed. 

Jane wrapped her arms around Yaz, pulling her close. “Just don’t overwork yourself, take things steady. And let me take care of you,” she kissed her head. 

“You’ve got plenty of your own work to do,” Yaz pointed out.

“Ah I’m on top of it don’t you worry. Now go and put your feet up while I cook dinner.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for the continued support!! I love reading your comments xx


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay it's taken me about a year to update (11 days but... basically a year - a lot has happened! (omgthethasmininthatepisodehelpme)). Anyway, enjoy.

A day in the interview room was Yaz’s least favourite kind of day. She much preferred being out and about, but today she was stuck in with a bunch of teenagers to interrogate and it was driving her slowly crazy. For a bunch of private school lads they were really quite dumb. All their stories counteracted each other which was getting them nowhere, but she had a few hunches. There was something deeper going on here. 

When she got home she was about ready to throw something at the wall, slamming the door without really meaning to. 

“What did that door ever do to you?” Jane appeared in the hall, “you okay?” 

“I’ve been in the same room all day questioning idiotic teenagers who know more than they’re letting on,” she dropped her bag on the floor. “I’m fed up. We had to postpone the press conference for this and I really cannot stand teenagers.” 

Jane walked over and wrapped her arms around her waist, kissing the tip of her nose. “Relax baby,” she moved to kiss just on her temple where she knew Yaz loved. 

She sighed and relaxed into Jane’s grasp, “mmm thank you,” she rested her head on Jane’s shoulder and took a few deep breaths to calm down. 

“What can I do to help?” Jane asked.

“This is good,” Yaz replied. “You’re so good at helping my brain switch off,” she kissed her. 

“I’ll always try,” she smiled, “what about food? I can do food - and I bet you didn’t eat properly today.” 

Yaz smiled, “thank you. I grabbed a sandwich… I think,” she rubbed her head as she stepped back. “I’ll just go and shower quickly if that’s okay?” 

“I knew something smelt funny,” Jane sniffed.

Yaz rolled her eyes and hit her gently. “Shut up and cook me some dinner.” 

* * *

After spending the night on the sofa, Yaz wasn’t entirely sure how she’d got to bed when she woke in the morning. Jane was holding her protectively, asleep with her head resting in her neck. She reached out and grabbed her phone from the side and checked the time, still a few more minutes - and a message from Jason. 

_ Morning to my favourite fellow detective. Don’t be nervous about today, I know you’re gonna smash it. You’ve seen me do this before, just do the same - but prettier. I’ll be right next to you so if you mess up (which you won’t) you can just subtly push me off the chair and that’ll distract everyone. See you later x _

She smiled, he was the best partner. “That’s a cute message,” Jane muttered beside her. 

“Cheeky,” Yaz put her phone down and turned to face her. Jane’s hair was half flopped over her face so she brushed it back and gave her a little good morning kiss. “So care to explain how I got to bed last night?” 

“Well you were out like a light so I just carried you in,” Jane shrugged. “You looked so peaceful I couldn’t bring myself to wake you.” 

“You’re the cutest,” Yaz kissed her again. “You still okay for dinner at my parents’ tonight?”

Jane nodded, “absolutely. Love your family, your Mum is the best. Is your Dad cooking? He's getting better."

"You're forever his biggest fan," Yaz chuckled. "Meet me there at 6? I doubt I'll get out early enough to come home first."

"Sounds like a plan," Jane replied. "Keep in contact today yeah? I'm only in the hospital for the ward round today then I'm just doing essay work so I can meet you if you need a break," she put a hand on Yaz's cheek and rubbed her thumb across it. “Jason is right - you’re gonna be amazing.” 

“Any advice? You’re so much better at talking than I am,” she sighed. “I mean, am I meant to picture them all naked?” 

“Ew definitely don’t do that,” Jane looked somewhat shocked at the prospect, “why would you do that?” 

“I don’t know, it’s just something people say,” Yaz went to sit up but Jane pulled her back down.

“And people say I’m the weird one,” she questioned. “Why would picturing people naked make it better?” 

Yaz shrugged, “I have no idea. Although picturing you naked is a lot of fun,” she pointed out.

That made Jane think. “Huh, true, but then I’m not gonna be there. Don’t know how I feel about you picturing other people naked though... what if they’re all really hot?” 

“Have you ever seen a press conference?” Yaz replied. “It’s still you I’m coming home to tonight, don’t you worry.” 

“You’re not, we’re meeting at your parent’s remember?” Jane pointed out, a little confused. 

Yaz chuckled at her and sat back up, “I really love you Jane Smith.” 

“I’m confused,” Jane turned onto her back and huffed. 

“I know,” Yaz smiled, “that’s why I love you.” 

* * *

She hated every second of it. The questions, the shouting, the arguments, it was all ridiculous. That poor boy’s family being hounded. In the end she’d taken the lead and shut them all down, confirming they’d said all they needed to before ending it. The rest of the day had been mostly sat in an office going over things with the team, putting evidence together and trying to work out what they had. By the time she arrived at her parents’ place she had the worst headache. 

Yaz let herself in, automatically chucking her bag down in the hall and hanging her coat up. “Hello sweetheart,” Najia appeared and hugged her. “You’re very tense, is everything okay?” 

“Just peachy,” she yawned. “Sorry, long day.” 

“We saw the TV thing on the news, you did well,” Najia walked with Yaz as they made their way into the lounge. 

“It’s my job to do well,” she shrugged. “Can we not talk about it? I’ve done nothing but talk about it all day.” 

When they walked in, Jane looked up from the sofa where she’d been sat chatting to Hakim. She quickly studied Yaz’s face and then ran over to her, “what’s wrong? Something’s wrong?” 

“Yaz is something up?” Najia asked, looking concerned. 

Yaz held her hands up, “please stop fussing Mum. Jane can I speak to you outside?” She grabbed Jane’s hand and took her into the hall, shutting the door behind her. 

“What’s going on?” Jane asked. “You look really pale Yaz you’re worrying me.” 

Immediately Yaz pulled Jane in for a hug, immediately feeling herself relax when the blonde reciprocated the gesture. “I just needed this without my parents staring me down,” she muttered quietly. “My head is pounding, it’s been a long day.” 

“We don’t have to stay,” Jane replied, placing the back of her hand on Yaz’s forehead to check her temperature.

A small smile broke out of the gesture and Yaz reached for her hand, “I’m not ill love. I’m just tired and had to use my brain a bit too much today. I want to stay, just… do the talking for me?” she asked.

“I don’t know Yaz, I’m not usually a big talker,” Jane replied seriously but couldn’t stop herself from grinning. Yaz rolled her eyes and hit her softly before taking her hand and going back in.

They settled down on the sofa, Yaz resting her head on Jane’s shoulder while her girlfriend chatted away, entertaining her parents for the night. This was her happy place, right here. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's all going kinda well... don't you think?
> 
> Thank you all for comments/kudos/etc. Love you all!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are: back. Sorry in advance x

Two weeks. Two weeks of interviews, visiting various places, chasing leads that lead to nowhere… it was all taking its toll. When she finally left work after another late finish, she really just wanted to go home and relax. When she did get home, however, there were 6 other people in her flat and it was far from relaxing. “Aha you made it!” Clara called out when she walked into the lounge where they were sat in a circle on the floor playing cards. Yaz glanced around the circle - Jane, Amy, Rory, Danny, Clara and Ryan were all sat there. Why was Ryan there? She’d not seen him in ages. 

As if reading her mind, he jumped up, “hey mate. Just popped round on the off chance and Jane roped me into the game, hope you don’t mind?” 

“Why would I mind?” she asked, but walked by him to go to the kitchen and grab a drink. 

“Ah good, you need to catch up!” Amy chuckled while she did. Good, so they’d definitely been drinking then. Yaz didn’t reply, instead she just sipped at the wine and stayed in the kitchen as they continued the game. 

“Oi Yaz I’ve dealt you in come on,” Danny called out. 

She sighed, the noise was already too much. “I’ve just got home guys, you carry on,” Yaz replied and walked back through the lounge and off to the bedroom with her wine. She could hear Jane saying that she was probably just changing, but instead she grabbed her headphones and stuck them in, putting some music on and curling her legs up on the bed. That was better.

They were drunk enough not to notice for a while, but the peace was broken when Jane practically fell into the bedroom, making Yaz jump. “Oh, you’re not changed.” 

“No, I’m not. I just need some time alone Jane, you guys carry on,” she replied calmly.

Jane huffed and sat down on the end of the bed, “but I want you out there. I’ve barely seen you all week,” she moaned. 

“I’m just not in the mood for socialising tonight, it’s been a long day. I’m not stopping you though, go back to them,” Yaz told her.

“Please come with me? I miss you,” Jane grabbed Yaz’s hand but she instinctively pulled away. “Yaz!” 

“No! Jane! I just need a break,” Yaz tried to explain. 

“Why can’t you have a break with us?” Jane asked.

Finally her patience broke and Yaz pulled her headphones out, staring directly at her girlfriend. “I’ve had a shit day, I’m tired. What I wanted was a quiet night in, but I can see I’m not going to get that here. You have a good night, I’m going out,” she stood up and grabbed her jacket, storming out of the flat. 

Jane watched her go, and the noise of the door silenced the rest of the group. The blonde walked back out into the lounge and wasn’t surprised to find everyone staring at her. “Is everything okay?” Ryan asked. 

“Yeah,” Jane replied. “She’s just gone over to her parents for a bit while we play, needed a break. It’s fine, carry on. I’ll go grab another bottle,” she told them and disappeared into the kitchen. 

Unsurprisingly, Clara followed. She knew Jane too well. “You’re a rubbish liar,” she leant against the counter. “What’s happened?”

“She didn’t want to join in,” Jane shrugged. “I pushed it too hard and she got upset. As usual, I messed up. You surprised? I’m not.”

Clara sighed and put an arm around her, “she’ll be alright. Little bit of fresh air. Just enjoy the rest of the night with us. You can give her a ring later if she’s not back.”

“She left her phone,” Jane replied, “but thanks. Let’s just go back to the game…”

* * *

It got quite late and Yaz still wasn’t back. Jane text Sonya to check she wasn’t over there, but she wasn’t. As Jane sobered up a little she started to feel even worse about what she’d done and was now sat on the floor in the hall nervously watching the front door. Clara appeared with tea, handing her the mug. “Thanks,”Jane muttered. Clara sat down next to her. “Why are you all still here?”

“You’re really asking us that? We’re not leaving you like this,” Clara replied.

“Yeah I get that but… you don’t all have to stay. I’m hardly great company,” Jane pointed out.

Clara sighed, “Jane we all care about you and we all care about Yaz too. Plus Amy fell asleep on Rory, Danny and Ryan are chatting about… engines or something, and I’m not sure I can ever get back up from this floor so nobody’s budging.” 

“I should be out there looking for her,” Jane replied.

“I think Yaz would have me banged up if I let you go out like this,” Clara told her. “She’ll come back when she’s ready love.”

Jane gave in, knowing Clara was right. Time kept passing and Jane never once looked away from the door. It was almost 3am when the key finally turned in the lock. Clara had never seen her friend move as fast as she did in that moment. Jane practically leapt towards the door and waited for Yaz to come in. 

Yaz shut the door behind her and eventually turned to face her girlfriend who was stood exceptionally close. “Let me by Jane. I’m tired, I’m going to bed,” she told her. 

“Are you okay?” Jane asked. She could tell something was wrong. 

“Fine. Now let me go,” Yaz had to practically push by and walked straight into the bedroom," shutting the door behind her. 

The noise of the door had caught the attention of the whole flat who now appeared in the hall. Jane shook her head, "I don't know." She answered their question without it being asked. "I think you should probably head off." 

Clara took charge and immediately ordered a cab for her, Danny, Amy and Rory. Ryan lived in another part of town so he would need to travel separately. The 2 couples left to meet the vehicle which left only Ryan and Jane stood in the hall. "You can wait here till they arrive, I'm just gonna…" Jane pointed towards the door and he nodded understandably. 

Jane walked into the bedroom and found Yaz lying on the bed just staring out, not having changed. "Yaz I'm sorry-"

"Not now," Yaz interrupted her. 

"But I just want to-" 

"Did you not hear what I just said?!" she raised her voice again and grabbed her phone off the table, throwing it at her. Jane instinctively ducked and it hit the door. She grabbed it from the floor and noted the smashed screen, sticking it in her pocket before going back outside. 

Ryan was looking concerned as she went out. "What the hell was that?" 

"Her phone," Jane replied. "I don't know what's going on Ryan."

"Can I try?" He asked.

Having no other ideas, Jane shrugged and moved out of the way to let him go in. 

Ryan opened the door slowly and then walked in with his hands held up, "I come in peace." 

Yaz didn't reply.

"No more phones to throw?"

Still nothing. 

He walked round to her side of the bed where there happened to be a chair in the corner and plonked himself down in it. "You know I'm not moving until you talk right?" 

"There's nothing to talk about," Yaz replied. 

"Well that's clearly not true. You've been out wandering for 6 hours without your phone and still in your work clothes. Now you've come home, snapped at your girlfriend and thrown your phone at her. I know you were frustrated earlier but this is all a little over the top don't you think? Jane has been worrying about you for hours," he told her - being firm but fair. When she simply shrugged, Ryan tried his next trick. "Shall I call Sonya?" 

That got her attention. "It's 3am. Why would you call her anyway?" 

"I know what happened when you were younger Yaz. Don't worry she didn't actually tell me, I just worked it out between the two of you," he added. "When Jane said she was texting her I did wonder how she'd react." 

"Why did Jane text her?" 

"Incase you were over there. She didn't want to worry your parents. I almost said something, but I figured you haven't told her. Maybe you should. You’ve been together 4 years now, you’ve been through a lot, and from what I’ve gathered from Sonya your problems arise when you don’t talk,” he suggested. 

Yaz sighed, “sometimes I hate that you’re dating my sister.”

“You always hate that I’m dating your sister,” Ryan pointed out. Finally she broke and smiled slightly. “That’s better. So, this case has got to you?” 

There was a short pause before she responded. “The longer it goes on the more pain I see in everyone. Having to make those decisions… it’s a lot. I don’t think I realised how hard it would be.” 

“Are you not enjoying your job?” he questioned.

“I love my job Ryan, that hasn’t changed. I’ve been doing this for a while now, but leading… it’s just a tough first one,” she bit her lip for a moment. “Since I’ve been with Jane things have been so much better, I guess I just forgot I’m not that indestructible.” 

Ryan stood up, “on that note, I think it’s time I head off.” He started to leave.

“Ryan?” Yaz pushed herself up. He stopped and turned around, “thank you. Can you get Jane to come in?”

He nodded. “Next time, talk to us,” he told her before leaving the room. 

By the time Jane came back in, Yaz had sat herself up on the bed. Jane was cautious and immediately Yaz felt guilty. “I’m so sorry.”

Jane shook her head, sitting down on the bed and pulling Yaz in for a huge hug. The moment she did, all of Yaz’s reserve broke and she started crying. Jane didn’t interrupt and instead just let Yaz cry it out. They stayed like that for well over an hour, infact Jane wasn’t really expecting Yaz to speak when she did. “When I was sixteen I ran away from home. I felt lost and scared, overwhelmed and incredibly lonely. I didn’t have a plan, I just thought I couldn’t go on like that. Everything was too much. Sonya called the police that day, she probably saved my life. I struggled for quite a while after that… on and off. Then you turned up and everything got so much better and I forgot about all of it, it was incredible. But these last few weeks… I guess it has been harder than I’ve wanted to admit.”

Jane held her tighter, “I’m sorry, I should’ve noticed. I didn’t even think, I’m so used to you being the strong one.”

“Because I’ve never told you otherwise,” Yaz replied. “I wasn’t admitting it to myself so you were never going to know.”

“Tell me how I can help?” Jane asked.

“Just… be here? Keep an eye on me. Tell me if I’m being stupid or working myself up. I just need someone to keep me grounded,” she spoke honestly.

Jane put a finger under her chin and lifted Yaz’s head to look at her, “I’ll do anything for you, never forget that. Promise me something?” she nodded, “don’t let yourself get to that point alone again? Next time I want to walk the streets with you.” 

“I promise,” she agreed. 

“Good,” Jane kissed her softly. “Now it’s really late, why don’t we get to sleep?” 

Yaz nodded, “thank you, I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I was gonna prolong the pain in this chaper but hahaaa I can't have them mad at each other for long okay x All the comments this week were wonderful and kept me wrting so thank you all so much!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And you all thought the angst was over...

After that night Jane became extremely attentive. As the case dragged on, she insisted that she would take over the housework and things, allowing Yaz to relax when she got home. Frequent late nights and the intense press work were taking their toll. Yaz’s first time leading a case was pretty much as intense as it got. 

Jane juggled placement, essays, revision and housework with ultimate precision - at least from the outside. There were a lot of late nights, climbing out of bed once Yaz was asleep. Early mornings to get things done too, but she always prided herself on her ability to live on very little sleep.

It was Thursday night and Yaz still wasn’t home. Jane had received a brief text to tell her she would be late, but the evening was dragging on. She made the most of it, finishing off an essay and going over spinal exams. She didn’t even realise how much time had passed until her phone rang. Jane grabbed it from the arm of the sofa and smiled when she saw Yaz’s name pop up. “Hey beautiful, how are you doing?” she asked.

“Brilliant,” she replied. Immediately Jane could pick up on the difference in her voice from how it had been recently. “We’ve got him. Well, we’ve got proof. Need to make the arrest… anyway, I can’t talk for long - but I’m going to have to stay so don’t wait up for me okay?” 

“Well done,” Jane smiled, “look after yourself though please? It’s been a long day.”

“Promise. I’ve got tea right here and Jase bought chips earlier. Totally healthy,” she chuckled.

“I’m so proud,” Jane replied. “I’ll let you go and smash it, keep me updated.”

“I will as much as you can. Night darlin’.” With that, Yaz hung up and Jane let herself smile a little - she’d done it.

* * *

When Yaz returned home she found Jane curled up on the sofa, her laptop clearly having fallen on the floor. She picked it up, placing it safely away before grabbing the nearest blanket and resting it over her. She smiled at how cosy she looked, kissing her forehead softly. It was just gone 1am but her adrenaline was still running from the arrest - they finally had him. She grabbed herself a small glass of wine and went to settle in the bedroom.

The next morning Jane woke up and took a moment to register her current position, the blanket over her… there was something cooking. She pushed the blanket back and padded towards the kitchen sleepily. “Hey you,” Yaz smiled. 

“You’re dressed for work,” Jane observed.

“Yeah, arrests mean a lot of work. Sorry, I’ll try and be back in time for Amy and Rory’s dinner,” she reached for Jane’s hand and pulled her over into a kiss. “The worst of this will be over soon I promise,” she ran a hand through Jane’s hair. “Are you okay?”

Jane nodded, “just miss you that’s all,” she wrapped her arms around her. 

“I know, I miss you too but this is my job now. I’ll be back as soon as I can,” Yaz told her.

“This dinner is important,” Jane muttered. 

“So is convicting a murderer,” Yaz moved out of her grasp at that point. “I’m sorry, but I can’t make any promises.”

Jane sighed, “fine. Just let me know?” 

“I will if I can,” Yaz replied and flicked the hob off. “Breakfast is ready. I’m gonna go. Maybe if I get there earlier I’ll be able to make it,” she replied and walked out. Jane could only watch as she left.

* * *

“What’s got into you today?” Jason asked as they walked out of the interview room for a break. 

Yaz looked over her shoulder at him, “what do you mean? I’m just doing my job.”

“Sure but since when were you bad cop?” he questioned.

“Oh sorry did you want me to be nice to the man that killed a teenage boy because he didn’t like his Dad?” she practically hissed. 

Jason shook his head and followed her into the kitchen, shutting the door behind them. “I want you to tell me why you’re in such a bad mood.”

“I’m not in a bad mood!” she slammed the mug down so hard on the top that it smashed in her hand. 

“You were saying?” Jason gestured and immediately went for the first aid kit as she was bleeding. He made her sit down while he cleaned and dressed her hand. “Talk to me. You were buzzing last night.”

“It’s nothing. Just had a stupid fight this morning and I’ve let it get to me. It’s unprofessional I’m sorry,” she sighed, wincing as Jason cleaned her wound.

He looked up, concerned, “are you two alright?”

“Course we are. It’s just been a difficult few weeks,” she shrugged.

“You said that in the summer too,” he pointed out.

Yaz hated thinking back to the summer. The closest they had ever been to breaking up. Yaz had moved in with Jason for almost 10 days and barely functioned other than to go to work. She was miserable, so was Jane. "That was different, we were both just over stressed and we didn't cope well. It was stupid, but it was months ago."

"And this is different how?" Jason raised an eyebrow at her.

She scowled, "just leave it Jase. We've got far more important things to deal with right now." As soon as he finished with her hand she pulled it back. "I need to make a call. See you in 10," she left the room as soon as she could to go and get some fresh air.

* * *

"Hello, you look terrible," Amy opened the door and greeted Jane.

"Thanks," the blonde smiled sarcastically back at her. 

Amy moved to let her in, "not sleeping?"

"Who has time to sleep? Far too much to do," Jane shrugged. "Besides I  _ definitely  _ slept for a few hours last night because I woke up on the sofa this morning." 

“I’m not sure sleeping on the sofa counts,” Amy tutted. “You need to look after yourself  Jane.”

Jane shrugged, “I’m doing fine.” 

“Would I get the same answer if I asked Yaz?” she questioned.

She scoffed, “good luck with that. She’s stuck at work, as usual,” Jane slipped her shoes off and ended the conversation there, making her way into the lounge where Clara and Danny had already arrived. “Hey guys.”

“All alone again?” Clara questioned. 

Jane sat down beside her, “yep. I’m sure you’ve seen the news.” 

“Oh yeah they made an arrest!” Amy had followed her in and handed a glass of wine over. 

“Mmm early this morning. Sadly it doesn’t end there. So just me tonight,” she shrugged. 

"You seem thrilled," Clara pointed out, receiving a glare in response. "Just saying." 

"We're not here to discuss my girlfriend," she replied. "What exactly  _ are  _ we here to discuss?" 

Amy just smiled at them. "You'll find out." 

Thankfully after that the topic stayed away and Jane listened as Clara ran through a few stories from work. It was easier to let the rest of the talk to try and distract herself from thinking about what was going on in her own life.

"Earth to Jane?" 

Maybe she wasn't as distracted as she thought. "Huh?" 

"Where are you tonight? Come on, dinner's ready," Clara grabbed her hand and practically dragged her up. "

They went through and sat round the table. Jane noticed the place that had been laid out for Yaz and sighed. Why was this getting to her so much? She's working not dead. She didn't even know if she was upset or angry at this point. Maybe it was just exhaustion, maybe she just needed a break. But there was no time for a break, so what was she meant to do? 

Her thought process was interrupted when Clara kicked her under the table. She looked up, "you've barely spoken tonight. Something is definitely wrong." 

Jane put her fork down a little forcefully, "why is everyone on my back recently?!" she stood up as she spoke and went off to the bathroom. Once inside she closed the toilet lid and sat on top, putting her head in her hands. This was driving her mad, she hadn't meant to snap at her friends. For some reason she pulled her phone out and tried Yaz, but there was no answer. 

"We're not trying to upset you Jane, we're just worried," Clara's voice came through the door. When Jane didn't reply she continued. "Has something happened? I know things have been tough recently."

Finally Jane opened the door. "It was just a stupid argument this morning. I'm just so tired, there's so much to do at home and uni and I've been trying so hard to not put pressure on Yaz but I'm not indestructible. I just got annoyed that she was working late again and wouldn't make it here… it's stupid I know her job is important." 

"Yes and so are you," Clara replied. "Have you told her any of this?" 

"She's got so much going on-"

"No, that's no excuse. Jane you're the worst at hiding how you feel and with Yaz so busy she obviously hasn't realised. Your lack of communication is exactly where everything started to go wrong in the summer, let's not have a repeat. You have to talk to her," Clara told her. 

Jane sighed, "why are you always right?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will they talk? Will Amy ever tell them why they're having dinner? Will I stop asking ridiculous questions? Tune in to find out...


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It shocks me how much of this you guys catch on to sometimes. You're all very observant and I love it. Let's go!

When Jane returned to the room Clara gave a sign to everyone else not to push it any further. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. All good, back in the room. Amy if you feel like distracting everyone feel free to tell us what your news is,” Jane looked at her and tucked into her dinner. 

“Alright go on then,” Amy sat up. she glanced briefly at Rory who nodded and then looked back at her friends. “We’re having a baby! Had a scan last week, I’m 12 weeks today so we wanted to tell you all.”

Clara shrieked happily, “this is wonderful news!”

Even Jane broke out a genuine smile, “yeah this is brilliant. Hey! We’re gonna be aunts!”

“Actually,” Rory interrupted them, “Amy and I were hoping you guys would be godparents.”

Danny spoke up now, “all of us?”

“Yeah,” Amy nodded, “and Yaz. Let’s face it,” she looked at Danny and Clara, “you guys have been together for.. 6 years now?” then she looked to Jane, “and you guys for 4. We’re a little family. You don’t have to answer straight away, talk it through with each other.”

“I can’t believe how nice you’re being!” Clara gasped jokingly. Amy rolled her eyes, “nah Ams this is so lovely. Can’t believe one of us is having a kid.”

“And you lot are still not married. Honestly we’re trying to lead the way here,” Amy tutted and they all chuckled.”Right - dessert?” 

* * *

When Yaz got home the flat was empty so she figured Jane must have still been at Amy’s place. There were a couple of missed calls from her but they were a few hours ago so she decided to let them have their fun and get off to bed. Her hand was throbbing so she downed some painkillers quickly and then went to sleep.

The next morning when Yaz woke up and turned over she realised the bed beside her was still empty and cold. She sat up, rubbing at her eyes and climbing out of bed, grabbing her robe from the back of the door. The rest of the flat was untouched and Jane’s shoes were nowhere to be seen. She went back to the bedroom and found her phone - no messages. Immediately she dialled Jane’s number, but there was no answer. 

“Come on Jane where are you?” she muttered to herself. 

_ Hey, is Jane with you?  _

She text Clara and Amy, just to be doubly sure. 

_ Yep she stayed the night.  _

When the reply came from Clara, Yaz breathed a sigh of relief. 

_ Is she okay?  _

There was a delay in the response.

_ Good question. _

Yaz stared at the short reply. What did that mean? She was about to reply when her work phone rang on the side. She sighed and picked it up, "yes?" 

"We've got a problem ma'am," Yaz immediately cringed, she hated being called that. "Lewis' lawyers are calling for us to charge or release asap." 

She rubbed her forehead, "fine, I'm on the way. Won't be long." The sooner this was over the better.

* * *

"Thanks," Jane muttered when Clara put her phone back down. "I just need a break from it all." 

"You can stay as long as you need," Clara told her. How about we stick the TV on in the background, you can do some work and I'll get on with my marking?" 

They agreed on this and got settled into their work. Jane quickly realised how much easier it was to get into it when she didn't have to think about getting everything else done as well. Finally the essay that had been haunting her for weeks seemed surprisingly straight forward. 

Time flew by. Clara bought food over at some point but Jane was in the flow of writing so ate on the go. "You’ll have to look up from that screen at some point,” Clara sat down beside her having nipped upstairs. Jane waved a hand to her and carried on typing. “Oi missy talk to me.”

“Sorry, sorry I’m nearly finished now. Then I’m actually up to date for the first time in weeks,” she explained. “Then I’m all yours. Ooo we should go bowling,” she looked up. “Nope! Getting distracted. Come back to that thought later.”

Clara chuckled, it was good to see her in a better mood. She got up again when Danny got home and greeted him, having a catch up while Jane finished off. About 45 minutes later they heard footsteps pounding upstairs and the door burst open. “Jane!” Clara looked round. 

“Yes, that’s me, I’m all good to go now,” she grinned.

“Go where?” Clara questioned.

“Bowling! Wait… did I say that out loud or was it just in my head?” she quickly questioned herself. “Should I start again?” 

Rolling her eyes, Clara stood up. “No, you just need to learn to knock.”

“Why? I never have before?” Jane pointed out. 

“I know,” Clara replied. “Right, bowling?” she stood up and grabbed her jacket, saying a quick goodbye to Danny before guiding Jane out.

They played a couple of games, winning one each. After they’d finished they decided to go to a nearby pub for a meal before going home. “How are you feeling then?” Clara asked after they had ordered and sat back.

“Relaxed, finally,” Jane replied. “I should probably contact Yaz shouldn’t I?” 

Clara nodded, “you need to make a decision about what you’re doing.”

“Is it awful that I just want to stay with you for a few days? I just can’t go back, not now,” she sighed. “I haven’t been this chilled for weeks.”

“You need to do what’s right for you. I know things have been hard for Yaz recently, but it’s like she’s lost track of her priorities,” Clara told her honestly. “Let’s just enjoy dinner and you can contact her later.”

* * *

Yaz was in a foul mood by the time she got home. The whole day had been spent arguing with various lawyers and the CPS. Finally, thankfully, the evidence had come through and they were able to charge the guy with murder. That was it, the hard work was done and… Jane was still not home. She grabbed her phone from her bag but there were no notifications. Then she remembered her conversation with Clara this morning. “Shit,” she muttered to herself and dialled Jane’s number.

It took a few rings but she answered with a simple “hi.”

“Jane I’m sorry I-”

“Don’t,” Jane interrupted her, “I’ve heard those words so many times recently, but nothing has changed. I need a break, I’m just staying with Clara for a few days to clear my head. Now you can work as much as you want. I’ll see you soon,” Jane told her and hung up before Yaz could respond. 

Yaz stared at her phone in shock as Jane’s name disappeared and her lock screen of them both came up. It was a photo of them on the beach on their last holiday, they were so happy. Jane had just passed her third year and Yaz had been told about her promotion so they treated themselves to celebrate. They were so happy… everything had changed since then. 

She went to the bedroom and lay down, too tired to do anything else. She stared up at the ceiling, everything running through her head, but mostly one thought - she had really messed up. 

* * *

Jane spent the whole weekend at Clara's and woke up Monday morning ready to go on her new placement. Her mentor from paediatric A&E had managed to secure her a placement in the children's hospital which she was absolutely buzzing for. She turned up on the ward and was immediately approached by the sister. "You must be Jane? I've been told all about you." 

"Really?" Jane asked in confusion. 

"All good don't worry. You come highly recommended," she smiled. "I'm Sister Kingston but please call me Katie, I'm not a fan of formalities. Let me get you settled in the staff room and then I'll show you around. Doctor Jones will be in shortly."

Jane nodded and followed her through, dropping her bag off in the allocated locker, grabbing her stethoscope and making her way back out to the ward. Katie showed her around the ward, introducing her to some of their more long term patients who clearly knew the nurse well. "You're really good with them," Jane commented when they got back to the nurses station. 

"They're good kids. Some of them have been in and out of hospital their whole lives, you've got to give them the best life you can in here," Katie smiled. "Aha! Here she is, the legend herself." 

"Flattery will get you everywhere Katie, but I still need you to do the catheter in bay 5," the doctor grinned. Katie gave her a brief salute before walking off chuckling. "You must be Jane. I'm Doctor Jones - Martha. Don't worry you'll get used to the craziness around here soon enough, I'm reliably informed you'll fit in well." 

Jane smiled, "I hope so, I get a good vibe from this place already."

"Well you should always trust your instincts," Martha replied. "Right then - ward round time. Ready?" 

* * *

Jane loved her new placement. So much so that she found her evenings were mostly spent reading up on conditions she had come across. She barely touched her phone, distracting herself sufficiently with work. She knew Yaz had tried to phone a couple of times and sent a few texts, but Jane was determined to resist it and keep her distance for a few days. 

By the time Friday came around she was so settled at the hospital that she had bounded in, greeting all the staff as she went. Martha was already trusting her with various responsibilities (supervised, of course). 

As she was packing up her stuff at the end of the shift Martha knocked on the staffroom door and came in. "Hey, a few of us are going out for a drink tonight if you fancy it?" 

Jane opened her mouth to decline but thought about it for a second. "Yeah alright then, why not?" She grabbed her bag and off they went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOOF bye Yaz.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not actually the most happy with this chapter, but I've written it twice now so this is what you're getting... I hope you kinda like it. Anyway, thanks for the reviews! I love all the feedback and I'm so glad you're enjoying this.

Yaz was so grateful to be back on a normal work pattern, but she really wasn't in the mood and everyone at work knew it. She had spent the whole week barely talking to anyone and had a very short temper. 

"Right, I'm staging an intervention," Jason walked into the office. "You know you really upset Helen earlier." 

"If people can't do their job then they need to know," she muttered.

Jason slammed his hand down on the desk, making her look up. “This is getting out of order Yaz, I’ve tried to give you some space, I’ve tried to talk to you about it, but you’re not talking and you’re not getting better and I’m going to have to do something before someone complains about you.” Yaz sighed and put her head in her hands. “Come on, we’re going out.” 

“Out?” Yaz questioned without looking up.

“Out. You need to go somewhere that isn’t this office or your flat. I’m not giving you a choice, we’re going for a meal and I’m going to wait for you to talk to me,” he told her, grabbing her coat and bag. “Come on.” 

She really did have no choice.

* * *

They’d had a drink at the pub and chatted. Slowly people started to leave to head home but Jane and Martha were in an in-depth conversation about her dissertation topic ideas. “Tell you what, I’m starving. Want to move this somewhere to grab some food?” Martha suggested.

“Food sounds incredible,” Jane replied. “I’ve been at my friend’s place this week and she does not have great food in the house. I could do with a decent meal.” 

“That settles it then. Come on, I know the best place,” Martha told her and they left, grabbing a taxi. 

They arrived outside a restaurant Jane didn’t recognise, but she had to admit it looked really nice. “My friend runs it so I may be biased, but I reckon you’ll like it,” Martha smiled and they made their way in, quickly being seated. “Don’t lose your mind at the prices, this one’s on me as a thank you.” 

“Wow okay, well thanks,” Jane smiled. They had a good look at the menu and ordered before getting back to chatting. 

Martha poured her a glass of wine, “you really have a natural ability with the kids. You don’t have any do you?”

“Me? Gosh no. I didn’t really expect to like it as much as I do - something just clicked I guess. My friends always say I’m a child in an adult’s body,” she smiled a little. 

“Well that’s exactly the person you need to be,” Martha replied. “Tell me more about yourself anyway, you mentioned you were staying with a friend?” 

“Oh my history is long and complicated I-” she stopped mid sentence when something caught her eye. 

Martha gave her a confused look, “Jane you okay?” 

Across the room, Yaz had just walked in with Jason. “Yeah um…” she didn’t quite know what to do. While she was looking up, increasingly panicking, Martha reached out to grab her shaking hand, a little concerned. 

“Jane?” Yaz had walked over to her. “What-” she looked at the situation in front of her. “What’s going on here?”

Jane took a deep breath, "this is my new placement mentor, Martha."

Yaz nodded, not quite sure what to do next. "I've tried to call you and Clara."

"I know, she told me," Jane replied.

"I've been worried," Yaz took another step towards her. 

Jane sighed, "I know that too. Clara told you I'm alright didn't she?" 

"Yeah… Jane, we need to talk, please?" she asked.

Martha was still looking at them and Jason was hovering over Yaz's shoulder so Jane stood up and gently pulled Yaz outside the restaurant. "I'm not ready to talk right now Yaz. You've got no idea how I feel right now, everything hurts - constantly. I feel lost and scared and alone. Everything is overwhelming me, it all got too much. For weeks I juggled housework, uni work and helping you out and it was too much. I know I offered to do it, but you never asked me how I was. I barely saw you. I know your job is important, I know it was hard, but you didn't even try. I kept trying to ignore it all and carry on, but I just couldn't. I still can't." 

"Jane I'm sorry I-" Yaz started, but Jane held a hand up. 

"Not now, not here. I'm sorry. I'm meant to be in there having dinner with a friend, so are you. Let's just carry on our evening's separately," Jane told her and walked back inside. She walked over to Jason, "look after her for me. But don't tell her I said that," she told him and then returned to the table with Martha.

"Is everything okay?" Martha asked. 

"Yeah, sorry, just personal stuff. Won't affect work I promise," she told her, glancing up to see Yaz and Jason leaving.

* * *

As soon as they walked into the flat, Yaz kicked out at the wall. "Woah come on," Jason pulled her away and into the lounge. "Sit down, I'll make tea." 

Yaz did sit, putting her head in her hands and staring at the floor. Jason handed her a mug of tea and sat down beside her. “What have I done Jase? How have I let this happen?” 

“You wanted to prove you could lead the case, but you wouldn’t let me help you Yaz. You put too much pressure on yourself, I did try and warn you. You cannot let the job take over your life,” he told her honestly. 

“Everyone tried to tell me…” she put the mug down on the table. “Now what do I do?”

“Give her the space she’s asked for. You’ve always told me Jane works differently to the rest of us, this is obviously how she needs to process this,” he told her. “And you need to sort your own head out too.”

Yaz nodded, “you’re right. I need to talk to Clara,” she reached for her phone. Jason was quick to question her. “I just need to clarify some things. Stay in the room? Then you can stop me if needed.” That did the job and she made the phone call. 

“I’m only answering this because I know you saw her,” Clara answered. 

“I know. I don’t expect you to be happy about this, but nobody can be more angry about this than I am right now I assure you. Between her and Jase they’ve made me realise what I’ve done and… I’m just… I’m sorry. I know I’ve messed up and I’m going to take some time to sort myself out. I want Jane to know that, but I want to respect her request for space,” Yaz got it out before Clara could stop her. 

There was a pause from the other end of the phone before she replied. “Good to have you back with us,” Clara replied. “Get yourself sorted, I’ll handle Jane.”

With that, they hung up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically this chapter was me slapping Yaz round the face because she's been a right twat.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all. I know the world is tough at the moment, but we will get through it. I'm gonna keep writing and post as often as I can for you all - if you're like me then reading is a great escape. I am still working (NHS worker woo), but that won't stop me! So let's go...

Yaz hated taking time off work, but Jason was right. She cleaned up the flat, tidying everything away. Anytime she reached something of Jane's she would pause for a moment, remembering why she was doing this. Once she had finished clearing up, she went out and did a big shop to restock the flat.

The next day she cooked up multiple meals to fill up the freezer ready for them. She was just cleaning up the kitchen when the doorbell rang. Yaz dried her hands off and ran over, answering it. 

"What the hell sis?" Sonya burst in through the door. 

"Hello to you too," Yaz watched her walk by. 

"I just bumped into Jane," she told her. 

"Ah," Yaz replied. She hadn't really told her family what was going on. 

Sonya walked into the kitchen and started helping herself. "So when were you going to tell us you were broken up?!"

"We're not broken- is that what Jane said?" Yaz quickly panicked.

"Well no she just said she was living with Clara so she didn't know if you were home and then left to go back to work," she replied casually while dipping into the biscuits.

Too tired to argue about her sister's poor manners she focussed on the conversation at hand. "Well we haven't broken up just…" she went to make some half hearted excuse, but changed her mind. "I made some mistakes. Pushed myself too far at work and refused help. Relied on Jane too much, it wasn't fair."

Sonya pushed herself up to sit on the counter, "wow sis look at you taking ownership of your actions." 

"Yeah maybe you should pay attention," Yaz muttered to herself before speaking up. "I know. So I've taken a few days to sort myself out, meanwhile Jane is staying with Clara so she can keep focussing on her work."

"And you're okay?" Sonya asked honestly. "Like… mentally?"

Yaz nodded, "I am now. Jason has been a huge help. It got pretty dark at one point… but all my own doing." 

"You don't have to be superwoman Yaz, that's what got you into trouble last time. Let people help!" Sonya told her. Her sister was right, she knew that. "Now you gonna feed me or what?"

* * *

Clara knocked on Jane’s door, opening it when she got some kind of response. “Hey, I brought tea. How are you getting on?” She raised her eyebrow when she saw Jane sat among various textbooks and papers. 

“Nearly done, this stuff is fascinating,” Jane replied, but didn’t look up. “How was work?” 

“Oh you know, not so bad. Have the best classes on a Thursday. How was placement?” she questioned.

Jane shrugged, “s’alright.” 

Clara took another look at her friend. She was used to getting a whole low down of the day at the hospital, not a one word answer. Something wasn’t right. “Jane what happened?”

“Nothing, just busy,” she lied, and there was no fooling Clara.

“I’m struggling to believe that,” she replied. “Talk to me.” Jane kept sorting through paper. "Jane," Clara turned on her 'teacher voice'. 

Jane sighed and looked up. "Fine, we lost a patient today and it was shit and I miss Yaz but I don't know how to tell her that without it sounding like I'm begging for her back and I'm fed up of this whole thing I just want everything back to normal," she rambled - suddenly needing to get it all out. 

Clara quickly sat herself down beside Jane. She waited and within a few moments the blonde was leaning in for a hug. "Do you want me to call Yaz?" she asked. "I can get her to come here. Then I'll be around too." Jane nodded a little. "Put your work away, go sit on the sofa and I'll make the call."

Clearly having lost the will to argue, Jane organised everything into small piles and took her tea downstairs. Only once she was gone did Clara make the call. 

"Hi," Yaz answered nervously. 

"How are you getting on?" Clara asked first. 

"Not so bad. Got this place tidied up and restocked. Had some time to think…" 

Clara took that as a good sign. "Good, because Jane needs you. And I mean you Yaz not you DI Khan. She lost a patient at work today and it's obviously struck a nerve but she's not talking to me."

"She doesn't want to see me though," Yaz replied.

"Trust me, she does. And quite honestly right now so do I, it's been long enough. Just get round here asap please?” she asked.

“Sure, of course. See you shortly,” Yaz hung up and grabbed her keys. 

* * *

When Clara let Yaz in she pulled her to one side. “She’s in the lounge, not moved since I called you. I’ve given up trying to get anything out of her,” she glanced back. “I’ll be upstairs if you need me.”

Yaz nodded, “thank you for calling me.” Clara smiled briefly and then let her by. 

She entered the lounge slowly, not wanting to make Jane jump. “Hi,” she spoke quietly, just enough to alert the blonde to her presence.

“Hi,” Jane replied. “You came…”

“Of course I did,” Yaz made her way over to the sofa and sat down beside her. “Want to tell me what happened?” 

Jane took a moment to reply, but eventually broke the silence. “There was a 6 year old boy in the ward, he was so smiley and always ran to say hello when I arrived. We met on my first day. He suddenly got worse a couple of days ago and today…” she trailed off. 

Yaz moved to open herself up and Jane immediately took to the hug. Yaz kissed her head softly, “it’s okay, you don’t have to say it,” she told her. “I’m so sorry that happened, I’m sorry I wasn’t here and I’m sorry I let you down.”

They stayed in position in silence for a little while. Yaz gently played with her hair, letting Jane cry it out into her shoulder and eventually just staring out at the room. In that moment they both remembered why they’d got into this relationship in the first place.

“I’ve missed you,” Jane finally spoke. “Not just since I moved out…” 

Yaz nodded,”I know. I really messed up and I’m sorry. I took this week off work, got myself sorted out. The flat is tidy and restocked, I even did some cooking. I feel the most like myself than I have in a long time. I know where I went wrong now, I hope I’ve learnt from the mistakes. I’m going to listen to you now, I promise.” 

Jane sat up a little, turning to face Yaz on the sofa with her legs crossed. “We can’t go back there Yaz, not again. After the summer as well…” 

“I know, I know and I’ve learnt my lessons from then too. I let a lot of people down - but mostly I let you down and I’ll never truly forgive myself for that,” Yaz reached out for her hand and Jane let her take it. “I just hope you’ll let me make it up to you.”

“We’ll get through it the way we know best,” Jane replied.

“What’s that?” Yaz questioned.

“Together.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your commnts and kudos!!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isolation got lots of people writing... unless they're stuck in a hospital for most of the day working! Sorry if my updates are a little slower, I'll do my best. Anyway - back to our fave duo!

Yaz had been pacing the flat all morning, tidying things that didn’t need tidying and cleaning surfaces for the 3rd time. When the key finally turned in the lock, she stood in the hall and waited. 

“Why do you look so scared?” Jane asked when she walked in. Yaz opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. “Have you gone mute? That would be great, I can just ramble on as much as I want and you won’t be able to argue,” she grinned and chucked her bag down. “Yaz?”

“Sorry,” Yaz shook her head to bring herself back. “Bit tired,” she spoke quietly. 

Jane walked over to her, “you haven’t slept have you?”

“Not… much. Couldn’t settle, cleaned the flat again instead,” Yaz replied. “Sorry, nothing to worry about. How are you?” 

“Happy to be back, and I’m still allowed to worry about you, so why couldn’t you sleep?” she asked. 

Yaz made her way towards the kitchen to make tea. They’d promised to be open with each other now. “I was nervous about you coming home,” she told Jane. “I know it’s stupid, but I just wanted everything to be perfect and not let you down.” 

She was facing the counter so didn’t notice Jane come up behind her, only realising when her arms wrapped around her stomach from behind. “The place looks great, you did good. Honestly though, I just want to be back with you - but it’s nice to know it’s in a germ free environment,” she kissed Yaz’s neck gently. “Relax, you don’t need to be nervous. Let’s make tea and have a curl up on the sofa yeah?”

Finally Yaz allowed the tension to leave her, “sounds good. Why don’t you go pick what to watch?” 

Jane nodded and let go to head into the lounge. Yaz finished making the tea and went into the lounge to find Jane surrounded by blankets. “Um…”

“Well I was trying to make a blanket fort but it all fell over,” she huffed. “Thought it would be cute - I made snacks at Clara’s!”

Yaz chuckled, “I really love you,” she told her and it felt like the most natural thing for the first time in a while. She put the mugs down. “Come on, let’s make the blanket fort.” 

So they did. Jane told her the plan and they worked together, occasionally falling over, before eventually finding themselves curled up under the blankets with a movie on and the cookies that Jane had bought. “This is nice,” Jane muttered. “I missed how you smell. Smell is the best scent, a smell can make you feel at home.”

“You say the strangest things, but they always make sense somehow. It makes me happy,” Yaz told her. 

Jane smiled, “good, because I’m not gonna shut up.”

* * *

Slowly they managed to get back into a routine and this time it worked for them both. Yaz was back at work, getting back into building the case up. Jane was still shining in her placement and when she returned home that night she was practically buzzing. “Yaz guess what!”

Yaz stuck her head out from the bedroom, “we know how well guessing games go. You'd better just tell me." 

"You're no fun," Jane huffed, but kept smiling. "My mentor invited me to go to a conference next weekend! It's one of those posh hotel jobs. The talks sound so interesting!" 

Now Yaz walked out of the bedroom into the hall, still holding the top she was folding. "That sounds great! They really love you there," Yaz smiled.

"It gets better, I'm allowed to take a plus one. You don't have to come to the talks n that but there are dinners and the hotel has a spa and gym… I mean you don't have to come but…" 

"Free weekend away with my favourite person in a posh hotel? Why would I say no?" Yaz smiled and Jane immediately pulled her into a hug.

"Thank you! It'll be amazing. I can't wait for you to meet Martha properly," Jane told her before letting go and realising Yaz looked a little nervous at that. "I squared things out with her don't worry, she's looking forward to meeting you."

With that reassurance she was able to relax. "Sounds great. Wait - what am I meant to wear?!" 

"I mean… clothes…" Jane replied, a little confused.

"To the meals you dufus. Surely there's a dress code?" Yaz asked.

Jane immediately grinned. "Black tie. I'm gonna dig out my suit, and we are definitely getting you into some new dresses," she moved closer to Yaz again and slipped her arms around her. She leant in, whispering into her ear, “then I can get you out of them after the dinners.” 

Yaz felt a shiver run down her spine, wrapping her arms around Jane in return and leaning into her, “I hate you.” The top she’d been holding quickly being discarded on the floor.

“No you don’t,” Jane smiled and moved to kiss her. 

“Mmmm no I don’t,” she replied. “You hungry baby?”

“Dangerous question to ask in this position,” she smirked.

Yaz rolled her eyes, "either take me to bed or let me go to the kitchen." She didn't get an immediate answer, although as Jane's hand began to wander she figured where this was going. "Or here, here is good," she kissed her again.

* * *

Now Jane remembered why she hated shopping. She was sat outside the dressing room while Yaz tried on what felt like a hundred dresses - and she wouldn’t even let her see them. “Can’t I at least see one?” she complained, again.

“No! I want it to be a surprise next weekend,” Yaz told her. 

“Then why am I here?” Jane questioned.

“Because you begged me to let you come, I did try and warn you,” she chuckled and peaked through the curtain. “I’ve chosen, so bugger off I need to go and pay without you seeing.”

“Charming,” Jane tutted. “I'll wait outside," she replied and disappeared off. 

When Yaz got back outside the shop she saw the most wonderful sight. Jane was kneeling on the floor by a little boy who had obviously fallen over. She had a first aid kid that Yaz guessed must have come out of a nearby shop and was patching him up, all the time comforting the poor lad. “Hey, you’re gonna have a wicked scar to show your mates.”

“I don’t wanna go to hospital,” he cried. 

“There are some super cool people at the hospital, they’re my friends! They’ll look after you, I promise,” she put a dressing over his knee. “There you are. You’re so brave,” she smiled and looked to his Mum. “Give them my name at reception - became really good friends with those guys when I was there. They’ll look after you. Not that they wouldn’t anyway, I mean they’re good people I- well you know-” 

Yaz decided now was a good time to jump in when she saw Jane looking around for support. “Hey, everything okay?” 

That gave Jane a chance to reset. “Yeah all good, this is Hayden and he’s pretty awesome. He’s gonna be super brave now and go get his knee looked at in the hospital.”

“Is he now? Well that’s very impressive,” Yaz smiled. “They have amazing people there. You’re gonna be good as new before you know it.”

“Thank you so much Jane,” Hayden’s mother told her before picking up her son, “let’s go kiddo.” 

When they walked off, Jane stood up and Yaz quickly took her hand, “you were amazing with him.” 

“Yeah, kids I can do. Parents… parents are still a struggle sometimes,” she sighed.

Yaz squeezed her hand, “don’t put yourself down. You’re doing great, his Mum was really grateful. Come on, let’s get home. We have a weekend to plan for.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of your kudos, comments etc. Means a lot.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long! Work is taking it out of me. Thankfully I'm off for Easter weekend, so have another chapter. Bit of a mix, but here we go.

Yaz had never felt more out of place than walking into this hotel. It was clear that pretty much everyone here was a doctor. Jane, however, was in her element. She was walking around, mouth half open in awe at all the people. Occasionally she would grab Yaz’s hand and subtly point out someone and tell her about some paper they’d written. Yaz understood roughly 60% of what she said, but that didn’t matter, because the way she said it made her smile.

Finally they made it to check-in and then up to their room. “Woah…” Yaz commented without thinking about it. 

“I know, it’s huge,” Jane replied. 

“Jane there’s a jacuzzi, what is this place?”

Jane walked over to her, “this is a five star hotel,” she wrapped her arms around her from behind, “and this is our room for the whole weekend. You’ve got free reign of the bar, gym, spa… whatever you want while I’m busy tomorrow and Sunday,” she told her before kissing her neck. “But I’m all yours tonight,” she nuzzled in. 

“Mmm sounds great to me,” Yaz smiled. “What do you want to do then?”

She thought for a moment, “hmm… swimming? Oh swimming would be brilliant!”

“Not exactly what I was thinking, but sure. Let’s dig out the bikini,” Yaz replied.

“Wait, you packed a bikini? Swimming just got better,” Jane smirked.

Yaz rolled her eyes, “it’s a public pool Jane. Behave. If you want to go swimming then we need to get ready.”

“Mmm you’re right,” she sighed. “Sometimes I hate it when you’re right.” 

Yaz chuckled, “come on - swimming.”

* * *

Swimming was great, really great. Not that Jane swam much, she was far too distracted watching Yaz do lengths. The way she glided through the water was… “you gonna swim or just stand there?”

“Bit distracted,” Jane smiled and put an arm around Yaz’s waist under the water.

“Public pool Jane,” Yaz muttered. 

“Then maybe you should stop being so attractive, it’s very hard to ignore,” she replied, equally quietly. 

Yaz smirked, “how long have we got before dinner?”

“Long enough,” Jane replied. Yaz nodded, a silent agreement before pulling herself up out of the pool and making her way to the changing rooms. 

They didn’t bother to shower, they simply threw enough clothes on to be acceptable and made their way up to the room in silence. What was about to happen didn’t need speaking about. 

* * *

When the alarm went off the next morning, Yaz groaned into the pillow. Then her stomach groaned and she remembered they’d skipped dinner. She felt light fingers running through her hair and smiled at the memory of the previous night. “Mmm morning,” she murmured sleepily, slowly turning over to face Jane. 

“Morning gorgeous,” Jane smiled and kissed her. “I’ve spent the last half hour trying to decide which excuse to use for skipping dinner… I’m thinking headache?” 

Yaz chuckled, “you did say it wasn’t compulsory last night.”

“Still need to tell Martha something though,” she pulled Yaz closer. 

“You could just say you were a little,” she glanced at the scarf still attached to the headboard, “tied up?” 

Jane almost choked, “if you dare even mention that in front of anyone I’ll lock you in the bathroom for the rest of the weekend.” 

“Is that a threat?” Yaz asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“You’re in a cheeky mood today,” she replied, smiling at her girlfriend giggling beside her. “I love it, but we need to get ready for breakfast. Kinda need less Yaz and more DI Khan for a bit?” 

Yaz smiled, “of course. Consider it done, once we step out that door I’ll be professional as ever. For now… shower’s mine!” she jumped out of bed quickly and ran to the bathroom, laughing at Jane’s disgruntled face as she went.

Eventually, after a lot more chasing around the bedroom, they made it down to breakfast. Jane was dressed in her favourite suit, while Yaz had opted for a smart casual look - seeing as she wasn't actually attending the conference. When they entered the room, Yaz spotted Martha at a table with another woman and immediately she moved a little closer to Jane, remembering their last interaction. "I told you, she's fine with it," Jane whispered to her. "Come on, I'm starving and this buffet looks incredible." 

They chose their food and were soon called over by Martha who had spotted Jane. They sat down opposite her and the other woman, who was introduced as a paediatric consultant from Liverpool. Jane immediately got chatting to her, which made Yaz smile - she loved how passionate her girlfriend was about her job. After a couple of minutes, Martha caught her attention. "Nice to meet you properly," she started with.

"Yeah… I'm sorry about all that," Yaz replied.

Martha shook her head as she sipped her coffee. "It's fine, honestly. Jane explained everything. Your job must be tough," she sympathised.

"Yeah, but it was my own fault things got out of control really. Too stubborn for my own good sometimes," she smiled nervously.

"Well Jane is obviously very proud of you, she talks about you a lot." 

Martha seemed genuine and slowly Yaz felt herself relax into the conversation. "Well she does like to talk," she chuckled. "I'm proud of her too, she's following her dream." 

"And she's damn good at it, paeds seems to be her forte too,” she replied. “We’ll be sad to lose her when the placement finishes.”

Yaz glanced over to Jane, “don’t worry, I think she’ll be back.”

“We would have her in a heartbeat,” Martha replied honestly. “It’s rare you see this amount of engagement and progress from a 4th year student - it’s quite refreshing.” 

“I love watching her in her element, she’s so happy and enthusiastic - it’s Jane at her best,” Yaz sighed happily 

“I can tell,” Martha chuckled, “you keep looking over.” Yaz quickly looked back. “Oh don’t worry, it’s cute! Anyway, you got your day planned out?”

“Thought I might explore the gardens, then investigate the gym and spa. What time do you guys finish?” 

“Around 5. You’re welcome to join us at lunch though,” Martha pointed out.

“Nah it’s alright, Jane will want to talk to people and if I’m there she’ll feel guilty I’m being left out. Thanks for the offer.” 

“What you two chatting about?” Jane entered the conversation. “Me, I guess, seeing as that’s what you’ve got in common.” 

Yaz grinned, “naturally. All good of course.”

“Really?! Aww that’s nice. You’re cute,” Jane smiled. “We have to go in soon, you gonna be okay?”

“I’ll be fine, plenty to keep me occupied. Enjoy yourself! Text me when you’re finished yeah?” Yaz stood up, kissing Jane’s head quickly before disappearing off.

* * *

The relaxing day turned out to be exactly what she needed. Yaz decided to head to the gym first in the end, changing into her workout gear before heading down. She spent a good hour down there before transferring into the pool, getting some slow but steady lengths in. After that she grabbed a quick lunch and then found the spa and had a rather wonderful massage, before heading back up to the room. 

It was only when she felt the warm breath on her cheek that Yaz woke up. “You looked really peaceful,” Jane muttered - she was lying on her side watching her girlfriend.

“How long have you been there?” Yaz asked, waking herself up a little and turning to face her.

“Dunno, 10 minutes? You didn’t answer your phone so I came to find you. Got time before dinner anyway,” she carefully pushed Yaz’s hair out of her face. “Good day?”

“Lovely, you?” 

Immediately Jane launched into a detailed explanation of her day. Yaz smiled, listening to her and trying to take some of it in. “It was really wicked! I can’t wait for tomorrow. Tonight should be fun though, I finally get to see you in one of those dresses,” she grinned. 

“Yes you do. Speaking of which, I need to start getting ready - gotta tame this mane,” she gestured to her hair that was currently tied up. “You’re just gonna lie there and watch aren’t you?”

“Yep,” Jane grinned, emphasising the p. Yaz rolled her eyes but chuckled, making her way to the bathroom. 

It took her a little while to get her hair tamed, all the while Jane simply watched from the bed. Yaz really never had understood how she could watch her for all that time - even Yaz found the process dull. Finally, however, it found a settled status and she styled it appropriately for the evening. When she turned around, she noticed Jane sat open mouthed. “You okay there darlin’?” 

“Ugh-” she barely managed to get a noise out. Yaz walked over and bent down to kiss her gently. “Don’t tempt me,” Jane muttered. “I don’t want to ruin your hair yet.” 

“I like yet,” Yaz giggled and stood back up.”Go on, your turn. Go get yourself sorted or you’ll be panicking soon.”

“I hate how well you know me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo you ready for the two of them to get dressed up, go to a posh dinner and flirt all night?


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this ended up mildly more angsty than I planned but there is still plenty of cute and more to come.

Yaz did her makeup while Jane showered. She briefly appeared to grab her suit but went back into the bathroom to change, which gave Yaz the space to get into her dress. She stood in front of the mirror, smoothing down the red material which clung in all the right places and flowed down to her ankles - even Yaz would admit she looked pretty hot right now. In the reflection she saw Jane appear from the bathroom and gasped - her girlfriend in a suit was something she would never get over. Slowly she turned around to reveal herself to Jane. 

“DI Khan… you do scrub up rather well,” the blonde spoke through shaking breath. “How am I supposed to keep my hands off you all evening?” she walked over and pressed her hands on Yaz’s hips, “that slit goes up pretty high doesn’t it?” 

“Jane,” Yaz muttered with just a hint of sincerity. “We have a whole dinner to get through, don’t make me change back into my joggers.”

“Oh no don’t do that you wouldn’t be allowed in and- oh - I get you. Yes, professional,” Jane took a step back but looked her up and down again. “I am so lucky.”

“I didn’t do too bad myself,” Yaz smiled, “but your bowtie is wonky.” 

“What?!” Jane ran to the mirror while Yaz laughed behind her. When she looked and realised that the bowtie was still straight, she turned and frowned, crossing her arms. “I’d chase you but I don’t want you to break your ankle in those heels. I’ll get you back later.” 

Yaz grinned, “I don’t doubt it. But for now, let’s go make an entrance. Ready to play spot the homophobe?” 

“Oh my favourite game!” Jane replied and walked over, taking her hand. “Let’s go.” 

Sure enough when the walked in, Jane’s arm resting gently around Yaz’s waist, you could see the turn of heads. They’d been doing this too long to let it affect them, and Yaz could only laugh when Jane started counting under her breath. 

Their moment was interrupted by Martha walking over. “Ah yes, the middle aged contingent,” she followed their gaze. “Don’t worry about them, their lectures are equally dull.”

“Oh we’re not worried, we turned it into a game a couple of years ago, really entertaining if you need a laugh,” Jane explained. “

Martha smiled, “well I have to say, you’ve put on one hell of a good show - you both look incredible.”

“Thanks,” Yaz blushed a little, “it’s nice to be able to dress up once in a while.”

“Surprised she let you out of the room dressed like that,” Martha winked at Jane. “Anyway, time to sit down. This way,” she gestured and guided them to the table. “So did you have a good day Yasmin?” 

“Oh please, Yaz is fine, but yes - it was really relaxing. As you can imagine I don’t get a lot of quiet time with this one at home,” Yaz chuckled and nudged Jane. 

Jane went to argue but then thought about it and shrugged in agreement, “she has a point.” 

“What about when she’s revising?” Martha asked.

“Who do you think she practices on?” Yaz laughed. “I quite like it really, although she’s easily distracted…”

Martha raised an eyebrow, “I don’t think I dare ask for clarification on that.” 

They chatted more, the rest the table joining in at times. Eventually dinner was served and conversation settled while they ate. They were almost finishing up their main course when one of the male doctors on the table spoke up. “I’ve just worked out where I recognise you,” he directed the statement towards Yaz. “You’re the DI from that schoolboy murder right?”

Yaz felt herself stiffen immediately. Jane noticed too, subtly moving her hand to grasp Yaz’s under the table.”Yeah, look a bit different out of the suits. Dresses aren’t so practical for the job,” 

“Tough case, that guy looked so normal too,” he commented. Yaz just nodded, she hated talking about that case. It was an awful moment in her life that she really wanted to forget, but it was going to haunt her for years. “You were the SIO right?” 

“Someone watches too many cop shows,” Jane muttered under her breath so only Yaz and Martha could hear her. 

She squeezed Jane’s hand in response, a small telling off but also an appreciation of her comment. “Yes, first time. Quite the baptism of fire. Anyway, job done - case closed, we move on.” 

“Must be hard to shut off from something like that, seeing the body and hunting a kiler.” He wouldn’t let it go. 

Yaz took a deep breath and stood up, “excuse me,” she grabbed her bag and made her way towards the loos. 

“Little sensitive,” the man commented.

That was all Jane needed. “Oh and you’d know what that’s like would you? You ever treated a child who didn’t make it? You must have that one case that haunts you regularly - lord knows you’ve obviously been in the job long enough for it. Now imagine most of the country had seen you on TV having to hold your shit together regularly over it. Imagine coming face to face with the murderer of a child. Now imagine everywhere you go someone just has to bring it up. Most people let it go when she uses the case closed line - but not you - just had to push it one step further,” she scowled and then stood up, “I’m sorry Martha, I think we’ll head back to the room.”

Martha nodded, “I’ll deal with this.” 

Jane gave a brief nod of appreciation and then made her way to the bathroom where she found Yaz leaning against the sinks. Jane walked over and immediately pulled her into a hug, “I’m sorry baby,” she whispered and kissed her forehead. “I’ve told them we’re going back upstairs.” 

“You didn’t have to,” Yaz replied quietly.

“Yes I do. You need time out and I know you have nightmares if you try and sleep on your own when people mention it,” Jane stroked a stray piece of hair back. Yaz looked up to her, “yeah you can try and hide it but you’re a rubbish liar.”

She smiled weakly, “I’m sorry to ruin your evening.” 

“Don’t be silly, you know the swanky dinners aren’t why I’m here. Plus that guy was a real jerk,” Jane took her hand. “Let’s go check out that jacuzzi.”

* * *

When she woke up on day 2, Yaz found herself clinging to Jane a little tighter - her dreams hadn’t been as bad as they could’ve been, but it wasn’t a great sleep either. She nuzzled her head into the back of her neck and shut her eyes again to take in her smell.

Her moment was only interrupted when Jane moved slightly and found Yaz’s hands, linking them with her own. “Bad night?” she asked quietly. 

“S’fine, just wish I didn’t let it get to me,” Yaz sighed. Jane turned over to face her.

“You’d be strange if it didn’t,” Jane pointed out.

Their foreheads met as Yaz found comfort in every touch. “I know, but it wasn’t just a tough time at work Jane. I hurt you in that time too,” she relaced their fingers. 

“We’ve worked through that now, it’s fine,” Jane used her spare hand to clear Yaz’s face of stray hairs. “It doesn’t mean I don’t want to help you. Talk to me - I know you’re not over it.” 

“How do you get over something like this?” Yaz asked quietly, almost forcing the noise. 

There was a moment of silence while Jane formed her answer. She wasn’t always the best with these situations and she didn’t want to mess it up. “I don’t know, but I know someone that might,” she sat up and leaned over to the table, grabbing her timetable. “There’s a lecture later about how to handle patient death - it’s aimed towards new and junior doctors obviously, but maybe you should sit in? I dunno maybe it’s a silly idea… sorry.”

“No maybe you’re right,” she sat up. “It’s worth a try.” Yaz put an arm around her, “I don’t know how I deserve you.” 

“Right back at you.”

* * *

Yaz insisted they not sit together during this, but Jane insisted on sitting just a couple of rows behind her so if Yaz needed her she could make it obvious. Yaz felt her heart melt a little just knowing she cared so much. 

Some of the lecture was very focussed and not really relevant, but then they got a little deeper. Everything cut quite deep, but it helped too. Everything made sense somehow and there were some useful coping techniques too. It also hit home just how similar her and Jane’s jobs could be.

The hour flew by, but before she could get back to Jane, Yaz was approached by Martha. “Thought I spotted you. Changing career?” she joked.

Yaz smiled, “no chance. Just… getting some tips I guess. The schoolboy case got to me - I don’t think I’ve ever really thought about processing my emotions properly with previous cases.” 

“Well I hope it helped, you’re clearly good at your job - they shouldn’t lose you,” Martha told her.

“Oh they won’t,” she replied. “Best job in the world. No offence.”

“None taken - but you are wrong,” Martha winked. “See you later? I may have changed the seating plan when nobody was looking.” 

“Definitely, thanks,” Yaz let her go and watched as Jane bounced down the couple of steps to her. 

“Did it help then?” 

Yaz nodded, “it really did. Thank you,” she slipped her arm around Jane as they walked back out of the room. “You’re amazing Jane Smith.” 

“I know,” Jane grinned and they went off to find coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments are giving me a reason to smile guys so please keep them coming. Thank you xx


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly this is the most soft chapter of anything I've ever written.

“I thought you’d peaked at last night’s dress…” Jane gasped when Yaz turned around. 

Yaz grinned, “I thought I should save the black sparkly number for the big finale.”

“Well I’m very glad you did,” Jane walked over and gently kissed her. “I’ve checked who we’re sitting with - you’re safe tonight.”

“Thank you baby, you’ve been amazing,” Yaz rested her arms on Jane’s shoulders and let their foreheads touch. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, but we need to go now,” she kissed her once more before stepping back. “Round two yeah?”

* * *

They drew eyes again when they walked in, but the couple simply walked over to the table where Martha was waiting. “Dear gosh you two know how to make an entrance,” she laughed. 

“Well they’re either homophobic or jealous. Maybe both,” Jane shrugged. “I stopped caring a while ago.” 

“That much I gathered,” Martha smiled. “It’s great that you can be who you are - I think it’s half the reason the kids love you so much. One thing a sick child loves is an honest adult.”

“Well that gives you 50% anyway,” Yaz chuckled and sat down. Jane stood there for a moment working it out before suddenly looking offended. “Public place you can’t beat me up here!” Jane grumbled something and joined her at the table. “I think that’s my point proven,” she chuckled.

Jane rolled her eyes, “yeah alright, cheeky sod.” She turned back to Martha, “see what I have to put up with?” 

“I see what Yaz has to put up with…” she laughed. “I also see why you two get on so well. But anyway, how have you found the weekend?” 

They got chatting between them, eventually being joined by 3 other female doctors from the conference. Yaz didn’t have too much to contribute, but she was happy to sit back and watch Jane. She rested a hand on the top of her girlfriend’s leg, subconsciously rubbing her thumb across softly. Jane’s hand joined hers and they shared a brief glance before she returned to the conversation. Yaz was almost in a world of her own, just enjoying the moment until she was interrupted. “You’re Jane’s girlfriend?” 

Yaz glanced to her left and noticed the woman was the same one who had been sitting with them at breakfast. “Yep, long suffering,” she replied. “Nah just joking, she’s great. You were chatting earlier right?”

“Yes, she’s very impressive I must say. I’m Anne by the way, consultant paediatrician from London,” she introduced herself. 

“Yaz - my only medical experience is the first aid course at work and being a practice patient for Jane.” 

Anne smiled, “that’s the cost of being a med student’s partner. I have to confess I did know who you were.” 

“Yeah most people do. Happens when you’re on a high profile case. Such is life,” she shrugged.

“And I’m sure you’re beyond fed up talking about it, so let’s discuss something far more interesting,” Anne suggested.

“Jane?” Yaz grinned. “It’s fine, I love that everyone wants to know about her.” 

“I just find her fascinating - very unlike any student I’ve worked with. In a good way of course,” Anne told her.

Yaz nodded, “Jane is different to anyone I’ve ever met - it’s part of what attracted me to her. She finds some things super hard - things that seem easy to the rest of us, but give her a medical book and she’s away. In the last few years I’ve seen her fight hard to get over certain things so she can follow her dreams. It’s not easy sometimes, she can be super protective over me and… and sometimes I forget things and it affects her, but we always get through it. She’s amazing. Some people don’t understand Jane, but if you get to know her then she’s incredible.” When she finished talking she noticed Anne grinning at her. “What?” 

Shaking her head, Anne replied. “I just think it’s lovely that’s all. Oh, and she heard most of that.”

She whipped her head around and saw Jane looking softly at her, “alright careful, your head will get too big,” Yaz joked. “Anyway, dinner’s being served so focus on the soup and you can respond to that later.”

Jane smirked and Martha almost choked on her soup - covering it up very creatively to the rest of the table. They all ate in relative silence bar the odd comment about how nice the food was. Between courses there was general chat about the conference and the different hospitals that the other people on the table work at. It was a generally nice evening - far more enjoyable than the previous night. 

When the music started Yaz flicked her head to Jane, “you did not mention dancing.”

“Because you wouldn’t have come!” Jane grinned. 

“Oh you sly sod,” Yaz complained. “I’m not dancing.” 

“Yes you are,” Jane replied. Yaz kept a stern face. “Please? For me?”

The detective sighed, “get us another drink and I’ll think about it.” Jane immediately jumped up, smiling and going to the bar.

“Clever move,” Martha commented. “You going to dance?” 

Yaz nodded, “yeah course I will - just wanted a drink.” Martha laughed. “I’m not a big fan of dancing in general, but I don’t mind dancing with her,” Yaz let her gaze drift to the bar. 

“Gosh young love is sickening,” Anne joined in, making Yaz blush. “How long have you two been together?”

“5 years,” Yaz replied. “Best 5 years of my life,” she added.

“See - that’s what I’m talking about,” Anne spoke, aiming it at Martha. “5 years though - that's  solid.” 

Yaz nodded, “yeah, it’s kinda flown by. I guess with Jane being at uni and my promotion it’s whizzed by.” 

“Make sure you get some time for each other too,” Martha replied, almost knowingly. “It’s very easy to get lost in your work.” 

“Yeah, I’ve already made that mistake - definitely not again. This weekend has been great for us actually, just being out of the flat and relaxing a little. I know Jane is still working, but it’s been super relaxing. I’ve really appreciated every moment.”

Martha smiled, “maybe that’s a lesson you need to get away more often. And don’t feel the need to stay too late here, make the most of your time together.”

Yaz started to read something in Martha’s face. “When you invited Jane here, was it just for the conference?”

“Uh-” Martha started. Yaz raised an eyebrow. “Okay so  _ maybe  _ she mentioned a thing or two in passing and I thought a 5 star hotel room for a weekend might be the answer.” 

“Well that was very sneaky,” Yaz replied. “But you were right, so thank you. I won’t spill your secret,” she smiled.

At that point Jane reappeared with the drinks. Yaz stood up, taking a sip of wine from her glass before putting it down on the table and holding her hand out to Jane. “Wanna dance?” 

* * *

They walked out onto the dance floor together holding hands. The song changed as they did so, becoming a slower number. Jane pulled Yaz closer and the detective wrapped her arms loosely around her girlfriend’s neck. Their foreheads met as they moved and suddenly the rest of the room disappeared 

“I thought you didn’t want to dance,” Jane whispered just loud enough for Yaz to hear.

“Can’t a girl change her mind?” Yaz replied at an equal volume. “How could I resist this anyway?” she moved her left arm to carefully graze the lapel of Jane’s blazer on the same side. 

Jane moved only her eyes to look down at where her girlfriend’s hand was. “This is reaching dangerous public flirtation levels now Yasmin Khan.”

“Well you’re going to have to resist me a little longer because I want to take this in, so be quiet and dance.” 

The rest of the song was just them in their space. Eyes kept contact, but no more words were spoken. The silence, however, spoke volumes. These were two women in love, complete and undeniable love. 

When the song finished they still didn’t speak. Instead, Jane took Yaz’s hand and guided her back to the table just to grab her purse. They smiled politely at the rest of the table, but nobody disturbed their moment. They went back to the room, quickly losing clothes once they were through the door, before falling back on the bed together. Nothing needed saying, not through words, because tonight was all about actions.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello! Imagine if I could go without writing angst for more than one chapter. Lol. Anyway, enjoy friends.

_ Good morning beautiful girl. You looked too peaceful to wake and I know you’re on a late shift today. There’s breakfast in the kitchen and I cooked up some lunch for you - that's in the fridge. Have a great day. Love you always x  _

Yaz smiled as she read the note left on her girlfriend's pillow. Everything had been perfect the last few weeks. Jane had finished her placements for now and was back in uni full time. Exams were approaching but she was doing okay with the stress so far and Yaz was really proud of her. 

Once she had gathered everything together and changed into her suit, she made her way into work. Jason was already in and waiting with tea for her. "You're amazing, thank you," she told him when he approached her desk. 

"I'm well aware," he grinned. "You look like you're in a very good mood today. Good night was it?" He wiggled his eyebrows. 

Yaz rolled her eyes at him, "actually I spent a good chunk of my evening testing Jane on the spine. It was nice though, she's doing great. Plus all I had to do was lie on the sofa and read questions so double bonus." 

"That's rather disappointing," he tutted. "Anyway, bring that tea with you - we've got a crime scene to visit." 

"I knew this was a bribe," she moaned and picked up the travel mug and her jacket. "Where we going?"

"Some alley down James Way. Sounds like a gang thing," he explained. "Male, late twenties, stabbing in the early hours they reckon." They walked towards the car together and Yaz could sense the incoming question. "I was thinking if you wanted to lead…"

Yaz smiled at how nervous Jason sounded. "Jase I'm not made of glass. I think it might be time I give it another go," she climbed in the drivers side of the car. "Let's do this." 

"Are you sure-" 

"Jason just put your seatbelt on so I can start this car. I said I'll do it. If I struggle, I'll tell you. Promise," she smiled and once he was belted up, finally started driving.

The crime scene was weirdly serene. The alley was well hidden so it was no surprise that the body wasn't found early. It was covered by trees and once you were inside it was almost silent. Yaz assessed the surroundings and then the scene in front of her. A woman stood up from the ground and introduced herself. "Francis, pathologist. You the SIO?" 

"Apparently so. DI Khan - but please call me Yasmin. So what do we have so far?"

Francis went through all her findings. It was a relatively straight forward situation. Yaz listened and took notes where she needed to. Jason was already calling in to ask for CCTV for the local area to be pulled. Yaz took charge, getting the information she needed and delegating where necessary. It took awhile to get everything they needed from the scene, but after a few hours they were able to leave.

"Sarah and Jas are taking door to door. We need to get back and start piecing this together," she told Jason as they got in the car. When Yaz looked over he was just grinning at her. "What? Jase it's really not normal to be so happy after leaving a crime scene."

Jason rolled his eyes, "always the sarcastic one aren't you. I'm pleased because you did so well out there - finally back to the DI Khan we know and love."

Yaz smiled a little at him, "thanks. Good to be back. Now can we go?”

* * *

When Jane got home and checked her phone it was all over the news. She immediately texted Yaz. 

_ Just saw the news. Are you on the case?  _

While she waited on a reply, Jane grabbed her dinner and sat down on the sofa. She put a revision lecture video on the TV. When Yaz did late shifts the evenings felt extra quiet. It was useful in some ways - less distraction - but it felt lonely. Jane quite liked having Yaz across the room while she revised. She respected her space, but provided a continuous supply of tea and made sure Jane didn’t work too hard. Without Yaz there it was hard to relax into it so easily. 

Jane realised she’d not heard anything of the lecture having been too focussed on thinking about Yaz. Maybe Yaz was more distracting when she wasn’t here… was that possible? Her phone buzzed.

_ Yep, SIO. I’m fine darlin’. I’ll fill you in tomorrow, don’t wait up. xx _

Fine, that was fine… she was fine…. Jane wasn’t sure who she was trying to convince, but it wasn’t herself. She gave in and called Clara

Soon enough, her friend was knocking on the door. “What’s up? You literally never call me out of the blue these days.” 

“Yeah I should fix that, sorry…” Jane apologised and let her into the flat. “Can I get you a drink or-” 

“Just tell me what’s going on before you wear that hand out,” Clara pointed at Jane’s hands - she was rubbing her right thumb into her left palm. 

“Right, yeah. It’s nothing really, I guess I’m being silly,” she walked through to the lounge and sat on the sofa with her friend. “Yaz is senior officer on that murder from this morning. It’s the first time she’s been SIO since everything before and I can’t stop thinking it could happen again. I don’t want her to get hurt again.” 

Clara leaned forward to catch Jane’s eyeline. “Take a deep breath, you’ve talked about this right?” 

Jane nodded, “yeah… I just didn’t know I’d react like this when it happened. She’s been so happy recently, more like herself. I’ve not been the easiest with exam stress but she’s been amazing and I don’t want anything to change.” 

The brunette nodded, she knew Jane struggled with change - especially when it came to Yaz’s job. “She must feel up to it if she’s agreed. She promised not to let it get that bad again,” Clara reminded her. “Is this just about Yaz?” she looked at the lecture still playing on the TV.

“It’s a bit of everything I guess,” she shrugged, speaking quietly. 

Clara sat up, “right then. I guess this calls for a night off. You need to get out of this flat to somewhere that isn’t uni.”

“Clara I’ve got so much revision-” 

“And I’ll help you with it tomorrow if you want, but now we’re going out. You’re clearly not in the right frame of mind to revise now. Come on, pub. Get your coat.” 

And that was how they ended up 3 drinks down by 10pm. It had been a long time since the two friends had been out together and Clara was right - a night to let her hair down was exactly what she needed. “We should call Amy and get her to join. Hey we could go to the club!” Jane grinned. 

“Wow it’s been a while since you’ve drunk isn’t it?” Clara chuckled. “Alright then, I’ll call Amy. Get us another round in lightweight."

Jane grinned and went up to the bar, getting one for Amy too as she wouldn't be long and she never turned down a night out. She wasn't sure why she suggested the club, she hadn't been to one in years, but tonight really felt like a release she had needed for a long time. 

As she predicted, Amy turned up not long after. "You only got me one? I've got some catching up to do!" She sat down beside Jane. "Been a while since we did this."

"I got you a double," Jane pointed out. "And yes, it has. How are you doing?" 

They had a catch up. Amy's job was on the up and Clara had some nightmare child in her year 10 class. Jane enjoyed listening to something that wasn't medical. When Amy had started to approach the subject of her exams Clara had quickly changed the topic. Before they knew it, and after another round of drinks, it was 11.30 and they decided to head for the club. Amy was the one who insisted they go for the gay club, much to Jane and Clara's amusement. She was right though - it had the best music. 

They danced and drank and sang at the top of their lungs. Time flew by, it was fun - really fun. Finally some freedom.

* * *

Yaz finished her shift just after 1am. To be honest she was surprised it was only an hour late. They had some good leads anyway, it felt like progress. She left instructions for the early shift to get on with and made her way home. 

She made sure to enter the flat quietly, changing in the bathroom and grabbing a drink before going through to the bedroom. What she finds however, is not what she expects. The bed is empty - untouched. She flicked the light on, assessing the room. When she went back into the hall she realised Jane's boots and coat weren't there. Yaz went for her phone, panicking a little. Jane didn't stay out this late, or at least she hadn't for a long time. She tried ringing but there was no answer, so she dropped a text.

_ Hey, you okay? Not like you not to be here. Let me know you're safe x  _

She just had to wait for a reply. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah Jane you silly sausage - should've left a note! Or ya know, text? But then my storyline wouldn't have worked so... 
> 
> Anyway - leave a little comment if you like! They make me smile.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She's back kiddos! Intense chapters incoming as we head towards the peak of the story. Ya girl got plans. Enjoy!

"Jane for goodness sake be quiet, Yaz will be sleeping," Clara whispered to her as they entered the flat. Jane had been singing all the way up the stairs - which she had insisted on using instead of the lift. 

"Awwww I love sleeping Yaz, she looks so pretty," Jane grinned at the thought and then preceded to trip over the entrance to the hall. "Whoops!"

"Shh!" Clara repeated. "Gosh I forgot what a pain you are at the end of the night." 

"M'just excited to see Yaz. She's amazin'. She's like the best thing ever and she's-"

"She's looking a little mad right now," Clara interrupted when she saw Yaz appear from the living room. "You did tell her you were going out right…?"

Jane's head shot up, "I never took my phone," it suddenly dawned on her. "Shit."

The two women both looked to Yaz who was stood there with her arms crossed. "I know you didn't take your phone, I found it down the side of the sofa after the third attempt to call you. But you're not much better Clara! I tried you 'n' all." 

On a quick check of her phone Clara noted the missed calls. "Oops, sorry," she muttered.

"You better be," Yaz tutted and walked over, slipping an arm around Jane to steady her. "I got this one. You can go. This isn't over mind," she added. Clara backed out of the flat apologetically and left the couple to it.

"Yaz m'really sorry," she mumbled. 

"Stop apologising it's fine, I'm glad you had a good night out you deserved it," Yaz moved to hug her girlfriend. "You stink of alcohol," she mumbled into her neck. 

"I thought you were mad," Jane muttered in return, but wrapped her arms around Yaz. 

"Just an act for Clara's sake. It worked didn't it?"

Jane laughed into Yaz's hair, "you're mean. And you haven't slept."

"Needed to make sure you were safe. Come on, let's go to bed," she stepped back and took Jane's hand, guiding her to the bedroom. 

* * *

The next morning Jane woke up before Yaz. She didn't have any lectures until the afternoon, but she wanted to make up for scaring Yaz the previous night… or this morning, depending on how you looked at it. Despite how nice her girlfriend had been about it, Jane had seen the look of relief in her eyes. 

She quickly nipped to the shop at the end of the road to grab what she needed and then went back to cook a good fry up for them both. Granted it was partly a hangover cure, but Yaz deserved a treat too. 

Timing couldn't have been more perfect and she heard Yaz's alarm go off just as she served up. Once she'd got everything on a tray, Jane took it through. "What's all this?" Yaz asked, sitting up and rubbing her eyes to wake up. 

"An apology of sorts. I know you said it was fine, but I should've let you know I was going out," Jane told her and climbed into bed beside her. "How was work?" 

"Really good. I mean… in the way a murder case can be. I've got it under control though, which is already better than last time. Hopefully when I get in they'll have done everything I asked and we can get cracking on finding this person," she spoke enthusiastically. "I think I’ve finally cracked it.”

Jane smiled, a small sense of relief washing over her. “Good, that’s really good.”

“So how come you ended up out last night?” Yaz asked, tucking into the food. “This is amazing by the way.”

“Made the mistake of inviting Clara over. Completely her idea, naturally. She was right though - I needed a night off. She bribed me with revision help, but given she’s currently teaching teenagers on 3 hours sleep and a hangover I might let her off,” Jane chuckled.

“Owch yeah she’s punished herself there,” Yaz laughed. “How you coping with revision?”

Jane shrugged, “s’alright. The usual stresses… you know what I’m like. I’m alright though, don’t worry.” 

“I’ll only not worry if you don’t worry about me,” she bargained. Jane opened her mouth to argue, “I’m not stupid Jane. You were worried about me leading the case. It’s fine, I understand.” 

“Just don’t want you to get hurt again. Don’t want us to,” she looked down at her breakfast. 

Yaz put her fork down to reach for Jane’s hand, “we’re gonna be just fine. Promise.” 

* * *

When Yaz walked into work, however, everything was not fine. The senior officer she'd handed over to immediately caught her, "we've got a bit of a situation," was all he said before they went into the office to talk in private. "There was another murder, we went out this morning. I've put all the details in a folder for you."

"They're related?" Yaz asked.

"Definitely," he pulled the folder from the desk and opened it. "Exactly the same MO. But this time… well, we think they're doing this for our attention."

"How?" Yaz questioned, glancing over the first page of the report - he was right, this was exactly the same as the previous murder.

Turning the page, it immediately became clear. There was a photo above the wall of the victim - a message painted on (spray paint, thank goodness).  _ Catch me if you can… _

"Okay so they want our attention," Yaz stated. "Well they've bloody well got it. I really do hate a show off."

The man in front of her smirked a little, "I have no doubt. Everyone should be in now, can we do the full handover so I can go to bed?"

"Absolutely. I've got work to do," she grabbed the folder and they went into the main room.

They did the handover and the night team left. Yaz immediately got to work - assigning jobs and going over and over the evidence. "I've got a bad vibe about all this," Jason walked over to her and handed her a mug of tea.

"Me too, another good reason to catch this prick asap," she replied, taking a sip of tea and putting the mug back down on the table. "Why are they doing this…?" she muttered.

"Seems like a game to me," Jason replied.

"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of. If it's a game - someone has to win. We need to make sure that's us."

* * *

_ I know you're watching the news. Focus on your revision! I'm fine, I've been in the office all afternoon. I want a full lowdown on chest x-rays tomorrow xx _

How did she know?! Jane quickly turned off the TV. Yaz was scary sometimes. She was right - the second murder had scared her. Now they were talking about it being like a target at the cops… did that put Yaz in danger? She couldn't be in danger - she just said everything was fine and she promised not to lie about that again. 

Jane looked back at her laptop. She needed to focus. Just when she started to read through there was a knock on the door. "Oi dumbass it's me," she heard Amy's voice. 

"It's unlocked," Jane called back and the door subsequently opened and closed. "There's coffee in the kitchen," she added. "You look like shit."

"Someone dragged me to a club last night," Amy tutted. "Why do you look so fresh?" 

Jane smirked, "good breakfast and a shower. Why are you here?"

"Clara called me. Said she owed you revision help? Apparently I'm substituting," she called from the kitchen while she made coffee. 

"What's she bribing you with?" Jane replied.

"Cookies, naturally. Anyway - here at your service and ready to talk about things I don't understand," Amy plonked herself down at the other end of the sofa. She gave it a second before approaching the elephant in the room. "I saw the news. How's Yaz?"

Jane shrugged, "she said she's fine. I just have a really bad feeling about this."

"Ah she's the best detective in the business, she'll have this solved before you know it," Amy replied, nudging her reassuringly. "What do you need me to do then?"

After a few seconds Jane sat up, handing Amy her laptop, "just throw me questions out of this lot," she replied. They got into a revision pattern, it was good - actually useful - but that didn't stop that feeling at the base of her stomach. She just couldn't shake the feeling that something was really wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly if you can't see where this is going then you haven't watched enough crime dramas. 
> 
> See you in the comments my darlings! Xx


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All aboard the drama train!!!

Two days later there was a third murder. 

Yaz's phone had rung at 5am - she had only been in bed for 4 hours. Jane grumbled sleeping but didn't fully wake. "I'm really sorry to call you DI Khan, but DCI Garrett really wants you down here. I'll text you the address, he'll meet you out front." 

She managed to creep out without waking Jane. On her way down the stairs she dropped her a text, knowing her girlfriend's phone would be on silent at the moment. Her colleague had sent her the address of the scene and it didn't take her too long to arrive. Sure enough, DCI Garrett - Peter - was waiting for her at the tape. "Sorry to drag you out of bed, but you need to see this. I need to warn you first though," he started.

"I'm sure we can walk and talk," Yaz suggested, but he stopped her. "Okay you're not smiling… you're always smiling," Yaz observed. Did she say that out loud? Jane was having a serious effect on her these days. Maybe she was just tired.

"This one's personal. Personal to you, we think," he stated. "Not the victim," he quickly added, "but the message."

Yaz took a deep breath, trying to absorb the information. "Okay… show me," she locked her car and waited for Peter to lead her in.

It wasn't exactly hard to miss. The body was in a tunnel type alley and the writing above it was bright red. 

_ Getting any closer Khan? _

"Poetic…" Yaz muttered, trying to keep her composure. "So we know who they're targeting then." She couldn't look away from the writing.

"It seems that way. We don't know who or why, but if you have any ideas-"

"I'll let you know," she finished the sentence. "I assume I'm no longer SIO?" 

"Technically no, but it's up to you how much you want to be involved in this. I'll be taking over, but you've got a lot of knowledge on this case and you've been doing well to this point," he spoke honestly.

Yaz stared at the wall and then looked to the body, "what do we know about him?"

"Seems random again, maybe just to get our attention," Peter explained.

She nodded and kept looking, "what if there's a link to me somehow? I don't know any of them - at least I don't think I do - but maybe there is. We need to look into that. I'll get the team onto it." 

Peter took that as an answer. "If you want to keep running things, I'm happy for you to do that as it stands. However you're not to go anywhere unaccompanied and I want everything ran past me as we go."

Yaz nodded again, "I'll catch up here, then head home for a bit before I start shift. Think I need to talk to Jane." 

Jane… how was she going to take this? Was she affected? Was she safe? Yaz rubbed her forehead as she tried to control her thoughts. She needed to make sure Jane was safe above everything else. This was the last thing she needed right now. Her head was spinning with possibilities but she was determined to stay professional. This person couldn't win - she wouldn't let them. As she walked around the site, getting various bits of information and a full assessment from colleagues, Yaz knew this was only the start of a battle. 

Jason had joined her a little later on - Yaz assumed Peter called him. Once they'd finished at the scene he insisted they go to coffee and chat. 

"If I'm in danger, what if Jane is too?" she spoke over the steam of the tea. "What if I am putting her in danger?"

"We don't know that," Jason tried to reassure her.

"We don't know I'm wrong though," Yaz mumbled. "I was thinking I could get her to move to Clara's, but that would just disrupt her in the middle of her exams. I could move out but I've only got my parent's place and then they would be in danger."

Jason thought for a moment, "what if you moved in with me? That'll please the boss because you'll have protection, and then Jane can stay at the flat." 

"If I'm not there they'll have no reason to go," Yaz muttered. "I hate this. I'm trying to stay professional, but I'm scared Jase." 

Jason leant on the table to make sure she was looking at him. "Go home to your girlfriend, talk to her." 

Yaz sighed and nodded, "thanks. I'll call you later."

* * *

When she arrived back at the flat Jane was already up and dressed. She hadn't heard Yaz arrive as she was currently dancing around the kitchen making breakfast. Yaz stood in the hall and watched her for a couple of minutes, smiling at how happy she was.

Eventually Jane noticed her and jogged over to kiss her good morning. "Everything okay? I got your text."

"Uh- there was another murder overnight," she started. Jane was still smiling in front of her and it made this even harder. "I've got a bit of a situation." At that point her smile dropped and Yaz guided Jane to the lounge to sit down. "These murders… they're trying to get our attention.  _ My  _ attention. Today's came with a message for me." She got the picture up on her work phone and gave it to her. "We don't know why. They're going to see if there is any link between me and the victims."

Jane was silent and still staring at the phone. Yaz reached out and took it back. It still took a moment for the blonde to speak and it was just three words. "You're in danger." 

"We don't know that, but… it's possible. That's why I'm gonna go and stay at Jason's for a while." She tried to break the news gently, but as soon as she said it Jane had almost leaped over the gap between them to pull Yaz into a particularly tight hug. "Jane I need to keep you safe. You've got your exams in 2 weeks and you need to be able to focus." 

"How do I focus when I don't know if you're alive?" Jane replied and Yaz realised she was crying. She pushed Jane back a little so she could see her and quickly moved her hands to cup her cheeks, wiping tears away with her thumbs. 

"I'll be with Jase, he can protect me. I'll be safer there and you'll be safer here," Yaz told her, letting their foreheads touch. "I need you to be safe above anything else."

Jane shut her eyes for a moment, "you can't. You can't go. I can look after you, I need to see you and hold you and know you're okay."

"But if I'm here and they're after me then you could get hurt Jane. I can't be responsible for that," Yaz was struggling to hold back her own tears now. She took one hand to run through her girlfriend's hair. "I don't want to leave you either." 

"Then don't!" Jane shouted, making Yaz jump. "Sorry I'm sorry I didn't mean it I just-" she stood up. "I can't do this Yaz, I can't process it. My brain hurts," she paced the floor. "You keep me grounded, what will I do if you're not here?"

Yaz stayed seated, watching her. "You've got Clara and Amy right? And you and Ryan get on really well now too I'm sure he can pop in." 

"But none of them are you," she stopped in the middle of the room and looked at the clock. "I'm supposed to be at uni soon." 

"Why don't I drive you in? I'll take my break to coincide with when you finish and come pick you up so we can talk a bit more. You can't miss lectures now," Yaz suggested.

Jane started playing with her own fingers and as she did Yaz stood up to take her hands in her own. "I won't be able to focus." 

"Voice record the lecture so you can come back to it if you need to," Yaz told her. "Go on, grab your coat. I need to get back to work anyway." 

"Should you even be at work? Isn't that dangerous?" Jane asked. 

"For now, I need to be there. I'm not going anywhere on my own - promise," she kissed her softly. "Just a few hours okay?" 

Jane gave in and nodded, "you'll be there at six?"

"I promise," she reassured her. 

* * *

Yaz's day at work proved to be full of various senior staff members checking up on her. Her team were trying to find any possible connection between Yaz and the victims, but at the moment it all seemed completely random. She found running things in the room took her mind off the obvious distraction, even if everyone was being cautious around her. Jason kept trying to bring up Jane, but Yaz would change the topic each time - reminding him they had a job to do.

Jane text her regularly, and Yaz would reply straight away to tell her she was fine. As 6pm creeped nearer she made sure everyone had instructions so she could get away. She managed to persuade Jason she could drive to the uni unaccompanied and was parked up in her usual spot at 17.55. Exactly 7 minutes later she spotted Jane, and the moment she did one thought crossed her mind.

_ I can't leave her. _

Jane's eyes were red. Her coursemate Hannah was with her. Yaz jumped out of the car and jogged to take over, thanking Hannah and assuring her she'd sort it. Only once she had left did Yaz actually speak to Jane. "You've been crying."

"I hate crying," Jane mumbled. "I hate people seeing me cry." 

Yaz walked her to the park next to where her car was and they sat down on a bench. Immediately Jane turned into her and Yaz held her tight. "I've got a new idea," Yaz said as they sat there.

"If you're still moving out I don't like it," Jane replied. Sometimes Yaz loved Jane's honesty.

"I am, but what if you came with me?" she suggested tentatively. "If we both go to Jason's then I still get the protection and you can stay with me. Plus you'll have unlimited access to his coffee machine." 

Jane sat back a little, the idea processing in her mind. "I do like that machine," she replied. "I don't like new places though."

"Think of it like a hotel. We won't be staying long, just while we get to the bottom of all this," she suggested. "It's the best I can think of." 

"I guess I can do that. It keeps you safe," she replied.

Yaz nodded, "why don't we go and pack up some bits. I've told them I won't be back till 7.30."

"So when you're the boss you get to take whatever breaks you like? Amazin'" Jane smiled a little. 

"Helps when your life is in danger too," she shrugged. 

Jane's face fell flat, "don't joke about that."

Yaz took her hand, smiling apologetically. "Come on. Let's go." 

They stood up to go back to the car, no idea they were being watched. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol this is going well isn't it... thank you guys for all your comments! I love reading them. I'm gonna try and get better at replying too but ya know... NHS worker be busy! Writing is keeping my brain alive though.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty gang we are in for a wild ride. I would like to apologise in advance, and to say I'm grateful we are in lockdown so nobody can come after me.

Luckily Jason had also agreed to Jane moving in. He had also persuaded Yaz to take the day off with him - although she had added a condition of leaving her work phone on. Their DCI was able to run things for her, but Yaz wanted to keep on top of the case. It was Monday and she had been in and out of the office all weekend while also doing bits from home. This forced day off was exactly what she needed, even if she didn't see it herself. 

"She's on the phone again isn't she?" Jane asked Jason when he walked into the dining room with a fresh cup of coffee for her. He'd allowed her to set up her revision in there with Yaz's work at the other end of the table - except she was banned from there today. 

Jason sat down in the seat beside her. "Yeah, but Peter did ask her to phone this time. How do you think she's doing?"

"She's not sleeping. Everytime I wake up she's watching me. Thinks I don't notice," Jane shrugged. "Reckon we could get her out this afternoon? I could do with a break from this mess and Yaz definitely needs some fresh air."

"We can work on it," he smiled. "And how are you doing?"

"Exam season coupled with my girlfriend's life in danger? I'm just grand," she shut her laptop lid and picked up the coffee. "I am doing kind of okay though, I know most of the stuff it's just… distractions." 

Jason nodded, "well if you need to chat to someone that isn't Yaz, you can always grab me. I won't tell her anything you don't want me to," he replied. 

"I can see why Yaz likes you so much," Jane replied. "You're a good mate."

* * *

When Yaz reappeared in the dining room she was immediately pounced on and practically dragged out of the house. “What’s this all in aid of?” 

“You’re rubbish at days off,” Jase told her. Yaz went to argue but was interrupted by Jane.

“Plus I really needed to get away from that revision. But mostly just because you’re rubbish at days off,” she grinned. “We’re just looking out for you.” 

She couldn’t really fight that. “I’m pretty lucky to have you guys. You're both sacrificing a lot for me at the moment." 

"Hardly," Jason shrugged 

"Liar. You have badminton on a Saturday night which you didn't go to. You normally go for a morning run but you haven't since we moved in. I'll take strong bets you're not going to see your parents tonight either," she replied. "I know why, you've gotta keep two eyes on me at all times bla bla bla, but still - you didn't have to offer."

"Yes, but I did. And now I'm going to buy us ice cream because I really fancy a 99. You guys sit here, I can see you," he smiled. 

Yaz knew it was an excuse to give them a moment alone, but she had to admit ice cream was rather appealing. "Yes boss," she saluted jokingly and sat down on the bench with Jane, resting her head on the blonde's shoulder. "Your hair is growing," she observed when it partially obscured her view. Jane lifted a hand to move it. "No leave it. Smells nice," she intercepted the hand and linked their fingers instead. "How's your work going? Sorry I haven't really been around."

"Kind of okay actually. I think I'm getting there. I just need to try and get my brain under control so I don't get so distracted mid thought. And don't blame yourself you know I'm terrible for it anyway," she added. "This is nice."

Yaz nodded a little in agreement and looked out over the lake. There wasn't really anyone else about and it was really quite peaceful. She lifted their linked arms up so she could leave a gentle kiss on the back of Jane's hand before sighing happily. A few moments like this definitely wouldn't hurt. When Jane shivered a little, Yaz took off her jumper and made her wear it. They resumed their previous position - Yaz was warm enough.

Both of them felt calmer than they had done in a while. Maybe that's why her guard slipped. Maybe that's why she didn't hear the different footsteps behind them. Maybe that's why she didn't react quick enough when they were pulled apart and Jane was thrown to the floor. Maybe that's why she didn't fight hard enough to get away when they grabbed her and dragged her away. She heard shouts and people running. There was a lot of noise.

And then there was nothing.

* * *

Jane sat in the corner of the room, knees to her chest and face hidden in her legs. There were people combing the house around her, but she refused to move. She had already fought with the officers who wanted to take Yaz's jumper off her for evidence. Jason eventually talked her down and she handed it over, but quickly ran upstairs to find another one. 

Yaz's family were downstairs now. She could hear her Mum and Dad talking to Jason. They sounded worried - of course they did. 

"Hey."

Jane jumped at the noise.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare ya. Yaz always says I should think before I speak." 

She recognised the voice. Sonya.

"Mum and Dad are talking to her mate. I thought I'd find you, see how you're doing. Yaz worries about you a lot, I know she'd want someone to check on you." 

Jane kept herself curled up tight. Sonya sat herself down against the same wall, just a few metres away. 

"When Yaz ran away I was so scared I'd never see her again. Every possible scenario ran through my head while they were looking for her. That's why we always meet up on the anniversary - it's like a bit of reassurance to me that she's still okay, especially now she doesn't live at home." Sonya paused, but Jane didn't respond so she continued. "Every year I get reminded just how strong she is now. Yaz is a different person to that girl who ran away. She will always come back now. She would fight so hard for any of us - even me, but don't tell her I know that." She waited again, but still nothing. "She would fight for you harder than any of the rest of us though."

Jane finally lifted her head to reveal tear stained cheeks. "I'm not fighting for her though am I? I'm just sitting here. Useless." 

"Jason said you tried to run after them," Sonya stated.

"Couldn't though, could I?" she shrugged. 

"You were hurt. You  _ are  _ hurt. Yaz wouldn't want you making yourself worse."

"Well she's not here is she?!" Jane suddenly shouted - a surprise to herself as much as to the woman sat next to her. "Sorry I didn't mean to."

Sonya shook her head, "it's fine. But maybe you should have someone here? Someone who understands you better than me. I'm pretty rubbish at these things and Yaz always goes on about not treating you differently but… well, everyone needs someone." 

Maybe she was right. She wanted to be strong for Yaz, but she couldn't. This scared her right to her core. She always reacted differently, they know that - everyone knows that. Yaz keeps her under control though. Yaz knows how to make her feel better. 

Yaz isn't here.

Jane pulled out her phone, but she immediately saw the lock screen of her and Yaz lying on the grass in the local park. She took a deep breath and unlocked it, scrolling through the contacts before hovering over Clara's name. She couldn't press it. 

"Want me to?" 

Sonya took the phone from her, reading the name quickly before calling. She recognised it - one of the group that Yaz and Jane were always hanging out with. "Jane, I'm teaching what is it?"

"Uh- sorry it's Yaz's sister Sonya? I'm with Jane but she's… a bit upset." Suddenly Sonya realised why the blonde hadn't wanted to make this call. "I think Jane could really do with you being here."

"What's happened? Where's Yaz, is she working again? Why are you there? I'm in the middle of a class here," Clara replied.

Sonya gulped a little. This was hard, why couldn't she say it? She had to fight against her own instincts. "Yaz is missing. Her and Jane were out and they got attacked… she really needs you here I don't know what else to do." 

There was a moment of silence while Clara processed what was going on. "Tell Jane I'm on my way. How's she reacting?"

"She's just sat here. We're at Jason's place," she added. 

"I won't be long," Clara hung up. 

Sonya handed the phone back, "Clara's on her way. Can I get you anything?" 

Jane shook her head. 

"Want me to stay till she arrives? We don't have to talk or anything."

She nodded, and then sunk her head back down to curl up smaller, stretching the oversized jumper over her knees. It was all she had now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... where she at? 
> 
> Also - soft Sonya is a babe. We love it.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 chapters in 2 days??? Anyone would think I'm stuck in the same room all day with no windows, no company and only 6 patients. Only think to do while I wait? Write.

Everything was dark. That's the first thing Yaz noticed when she opened her eyes. Dark and really quiet except for one small and slightly sorry light. She was alone - maybe. 

Had they left her here? Had who left her here? Had they left her where? 

She couldn't answer any of those questions. 

Eventually she managed to sit up and properly assess the room. No windows. Stairs leading up to a locked door - cellar maybe? She checked her pockets - nothing. Not surprising really. 

She worked backwards. There was a van.. something sharp in her leg? Yaz looked down and noted the hole in her jeans. Some sort of drug maybe? Would explain how woozy her head was. She had been dragged there. From… from the park. With Jane.

Shit. Jane. They'd grabbed her and thrown her. Yaz never got to see if she was okay, what if she wasn't okay?

No. Jason was there. He would look after her. She had to be okay… right?

Yaz rubbed her head, she had to keep calm. She was still alive - that was good. Jason was there, he might have seen something. They would be looking for her - the team. Peter had told her on their last call that they’d got a lead on the suspect, maybe that would help. For now she needed to focus on how she was going to stay alive. 

* * *

Clara practically ran into the house and up the stairs. Sonya heard her call and met her on the landing. “What’s going on?” 

“I don’t know everything. They were at the park and three people just appeared and had Yaz before anyone could stop them. It’s something to do with the case she was working on,” Sonya got out before her strong exterior began to break down.

“Go and be with your parents, I’ve got it up here,” Clara replied sympathetically. She let Sonya go and made her way into the bedroom, taking the place on the floor next to Jane. "Tell me what you're thinking." It wasn't a question, it was a tactic she'd used with Jane for a long time. 

"Everything. I can't stop thinking. It hurts," she replied, the words muffled by where her head was still buried in the jumper. 

Clara bent round to make eye contact, "try and break it down. What's worrying you the most?" 

"You know," Jane replied. 

"But you need to say it," Clara replied firmly but with warmth. 

Jane didn't speak for a few moments, but Clara waited it out. "I'm scared I might never see her again. I'm scared she's out there hurt and alone or… or even…" she couldn't say it. "They killed 3 people to get to this point already."

"Yaz is really strong. Whatever happens we know she will fight yeah? There's a lot we don't know and it's scary and hard, but you can't stay like this. You look really tired, why don't you have a lie down?" Clara suggested. Maybe if Jane slept for a while she could level her head out a bit. 

"I can't sleep. What if something happens? What if she needs me?" Jane questioned. 

Clara gently placed a hand on her knee. "There are loads of people looking for Yaz. Her friends and her colleagues. If anything happens you'll be the first to know, but what use will you be to Yaz if she comes back and finds you in this state hm?" She could tell progress was starting to be made by the way Jane reacted. "You got hurt too Jane. Just come and lie down. I'm not going anywhere, I'll stay as long as you need me to." 

Finally she began to move, accepting that maybe Clara was right. Clara helped her up and over to the bed where Jane lay down on Yaz's side, burying her head in the pillow instead to take in her scent. Clara perched on the other side. "Tell me she's going to be okay Clara."

"You know I can't do that," Clara replied. "But I can tell you that they're doing everything they can for her."

"I know," Jane muttered, already beginning to drift off.

Clara watched as her friend began to relax into sleep. She hadn't seen Jane like this for years, it broke her heart. She sat back on the bed to keep an eye on her, dropping a text to her Dad to tell him what was going on. Then she checked the news.

It was everywhere, of course it was. She really hoped they would find her soon… and preferably alive.

* * *

It was difficult to know how much time was passing, but it felt like hours had passed before she heard the footsteps above her. She tensed immediately, her body hurtling into defence mode. They got closer and she heard the locks on the door.

1...2...3...4… four locks on the outside and one key. Worth knowing, just in case. 

The door opened with a slow creak like something out of a horror movie. The door was old - also worth knowing. 

Just one person came down the stairs. There had been three in the park. She added that to her internal list of information. Yaz shut her eyes briefly and told herself to stay calm - they wanted her to panic. 

"Oh good you're awake."

Yaz resisted the urge to roll her eyes. What a stupid statement. Instead she looked the man over. Tall, slim - not too much to go on. 

"Thought you might like this," he threw a bottle of water at her. 

"Wow it's almost like a hotel," she replied sarcastically. Immediately Yaz noticed his reaction. "Expecting me to be crying in the corner? I'm not stupid. You haven't killed me yet so you must want something."

He didn't answer, but the way his eyes looked away told her she was having an affect.

"Cat got your tongue? Or did you not plan this next bit properly?" Internally she was shaking. This guy could react at any moment, but she was about 95% sure he didn't have any weapons on him. "Or did you not plan it at all? You're just doing as you're told aren't you?" 

Excellent - they'd sent the weak one down. 

"Just take the bloody water and be grateful," he hissed and started to walk back upstairs.

"See you later then," Yaz replied. He paused before continuing to leave.

When the door shut behind him the locks were put back in place she breathed a sigh of relief. That was hard, but she'd proved to herself she could do it. He was gone now though, she was alone. Suddenly the light went out. Yaz sunk down the wall, clutching the water bottle. It was harder to be strong when she had nobody to be strong to. Finally the tears fell.

* * *

Jane had been asleep for a couple of hours when there was a quiet knock at the door and Jason poked his head in. "Hi, I think we've met a couple of times?"

Clara nodded, replying quietly. "I remember. How are you doing?" 

"Honestly? I feel a bit numb. I guess because I've sort of got my work hat on. I know Yaz would hold it together if the roles were reversed so I'm determined to do the same. How is she doing?" he asked, looking at Jane. 

"Not great. I'm glad she's sleeping though, it might help," Clara glanced down again to make sure she was still settled.

Jason gave a sympathetic smile. "Obviously I don't know Jane as well as you, but Yaz has told me a bit about things."

"Nobody really talks about it. Jane is just… Jane. She's always been this way. Weirdly eccentric and yet one of the best people you'll ever meet. She's ridiculously clever and so loving, but she really struggles with emotions and getting out of routine. Nobody can convince her to get tested for anything but it's kinda obvious she's probably autistic. She handles it though, as long as she's got the help of her friends. My Dad and I kind of took her in when we were teenagers and ever since she's been my best friend. Yaz has had the biggest positive impact in her I've ever seen. If she loses her…" Clara shook her head. "I'm trying not to think like that. I'm just scared for Jane."

"That's why we are going to keep looking until we find her," Jason told her. "I really don't believe they want to kill her. At least not straight away. I don't know what they want… but I honestly believe we have time."

"I really hope you're right," Clara sighed. "Thanks for letting her stay here."

"Wouldn't be right her going back to the flat. You can hang about as much as you want too. Yaz's family have gone home for now, help yourself to whatever," he told her. 

Clara nodded and looked back down at Jane. None of this was fair. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah the drama ain't over yet. Where's Yaz? Who has her? (If you have a theory I'd love to hear it). Good old Clara being the supportive friend we all deserve. Leave me a comment! Yesterday's made me chuckle.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As if we are 20 chapters into this! Where did that come from? Anyway, your theories have been keeping me amused while I write the next chapter. Some of you are closer than others...

Jane slept for 14 hours. She didn't know she could sleep for 14 hours. She had dreamt that her and Yaz were on holiday, but when she woke up - the reality was much different. Everything came flooding back. 

Clara was standing at the window, looking out into the distance. When Jane sat up she heard the movement and looked around. "Hey you, wondered when you were going to wake."

"It's only 7, have you even slept?" Jane tried to get her head around it. 

"A little. I'm glad you did though. You haven't missed anything, they're still out looking. Jason left about an hour ago to get an update, but there are officers outside," she caught her up. "I'll go and make breakfast. You should have a shower, it might help you feel a bit fresher." 

Jane shrugged, not really seeing much point.

Clara perched herself on the edge of the bed. "I always vowed to look after you from the first day we met. That hasn't changed now. You're my best mate and I care about you. Think about what Yaz would want too. If she came back right now and found you in this state she'd only worry."

"She doesn't need to worry about me," Jane mumbled in response.

"Exactly. Go and shower, I'll get food. Just take each step at a time. Sound like a plan?" 

A small nod. "Yeah okay, I can do that. I'll meet you downstairs."

Clara left. Jane stared at the door where she had gone. The hustle and bustle of the house yesterday was gone and it was so quiet, much easier to sort through her thoughts. They were no longer swirling and bumping into each other in her head. Instead it was like they had frozen - each thought in it's own spot but not moving. It felt calmer, but in a sort of numb way. The pain was there and yet she felt nothing. 

When she got downstairs Clara had already put tea on the side for her and was cooking breakfast. "You look a bit brighter," she commented.

"Mmm. Has Jason called?" 

"Not yet, he will when there's news," Clara told her, serving up the breakfast and putting the plate in front of Jane who had sat up at the breakfast bar. "Eat that up. No arguments."

"Yes Mum," Jane muttered. 

She started eating slowly, swirling food around on her plate as she did. Clara sat opposite her and ate in silence - letting Jane lead the situation. "I don't know what I'm meant to do today." 

"I checked the cupboards - there are plenty of ingredients if you want to bake anything," Clara suggested, knowing it was Jane's go to stress relief. 

"Better than nothing," she replied. "I don't know how I'm meant to feel Clara, I don't know what's right anymore. You never had to teach me about this."

“In my defence it wasn’t on my list of things that could happen,” she replied fairly lighthearted. Jane did allow a small, brief smile. “Right, finish that up and let’s get baking yeah? It’s been a while since you told me off for putting the ingredients in the wrong order.” 

* * *

Yaz had been trying to problem solve for hours, but there was little she could do for now. The room was pitch black so she stayed in the corner, occasionally dropping off to sleep for unknown periods of time. This time when she woke it was the sound of the door being unlocked again. The weak light came on and she sat up, focussing her eyes. It was the same guy as last time. “Sent you again? Your friends too lazy?”

“They’re busy,” he replied. 

First rule of kidnapping - don’t engage in conversation with your victim. This guy was her chance, she just needed to get him on side. “Doing what exactly?” No reply. “So either they’re not telling you or you’re just being made to do all the dirty work. Either way that’s a bit shit for you.”

“It’s none of your business.”

“Kinda is though isn’t it - given I’m the one you’re keeping down here,” she pointed out. “And I’ve been thinking a lot - there’s not a lot else to do down here - you didn’t do much at the park did you? I remember because you were all I could see because you were behind.”

He was getting uncomfortable, Yaz could see that. He stuttered a little while before replying. “Why aren’t you scared?”

“Why are you?” she quickly batted back. That clearly confused him. “Why are you actually here?” 

“Make sure you’re still alive,” he replied.

Yaz looked herself up and down, “yep. Still alive. You worked that out the moment you came in here, so why haven’t you left yet.”

“You intrigue me, you shouldn’t be acting like this,” he replied. 

If only he knew what she was feeling internally. “If it disappoints you then I could try and look sad? I’m pretty good at crying on cue. It works really well if I want something from my girlfriend. She’s the one your mate chucked on the floor.” 

She’d never used it on Jane at all, but she wanted to slip that in there to see what his reaction was. He flinched a little when she mentioned what had happened - a physical representation of what her heart feels like when she thinks about it. 

“She’d better be okay or you’re gonna have hell to pay,” Yaz almost spat out. 

“She got up after,” he commented - clearly regretting giving that information straight away.

Yaz internally let a breath go that she didn’t know she’d been holding. “So you do care.” 

“You talk too much,” he tutted and immediately left the room, but he left the light on. 

It was progress.

* * *

Jane baked. A lot. At some points Clara regretted suggesting it, but at least she was distracted. It was mid afternoon now and they'd still not heard anything from Jason. 

At the moment they were on decorating. Well, Jane was decorating. Clara had been banned the moment she'd suggested buying ready made icing. Instead she was simply moving cakes to and from surfaces to keep production going. Jane was covered in icing sugar, flour, food colouring and goodness knows what else. 

She was topping up the tea supply when she heard the front door. Jane was clearly in her own world and hadn't noticed, so Clara slipped out of the room and shut the door behind her so she could find out what they were facing. 

"How's Jane?" Jason asked while he hung his coat up. 

"Uh- your kitchen is a bit of a mess but there's enough cake to feed an army in there," Clara shrugged. "She's distracted enough for now. What's the latest?"

"They have an idea where she might be. They managed to track her work phone to a point before it was switched off so that's moved the search location," he explained. "There's something else though…"

"What? What's happened?" Jane interrupted them. Clara tried to work out how long she had been there. "Stop trying to protect me - what is it?!"

"We think we know who it is. And you're not gonna like this." 

"I wasn't aware there was an option where I would be fond of my girlfriend's kidnappers," Jane snapped back sarcastically. 

Jason gave an apologetic look, "I know. But… well, maybe you should sit down." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And you thought you were gonna find out! Not just yet my friends... but let me know what ideas you've got. New chapter asap :)


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler alert: it's sad

There was a small patch of sun that would get in through the door for about 10 minutes. Yaz figured that would probably happen at the same time everyday so it helped to measure the passing of time. If she was right, then that made this day 3, and she was struggling. The lack of food made her weak. She had water delivered occasionally but it seemed whoever they were had caught onto her plan and the normal guy has stopped coming. Instead it was a larger man who would walk half way down the stairs and throw the water bottle her direction. He wouldn't engage in conversation and as time went by she no longer cared to try. 

"Come on Jase, kinda needing you to work quicker here," she muttered into the dark. 

"Who are you talking to?" The voice surprised her. The younger guy was back. 

Yaz sat herself up against the wall. "Nobody. Surprised to see you back." She summoned up all her energy to try and work on him.

"Wanted to see how you were doing. Ma- the other guys wouldn't say much," he shrugged.

"They don't know you're here?" Yaz questioned. This was a promising new development. 

"No. So you better not say anything when he comes later," he quickly added, trying to sound threatening but it really wasn't his forte. 

Yaz shrugged, "why would I?"

"Dunno… anyway, here." He pulled a sandwich and chocolate bar out and handed it to her. "Not much, but thought you might be hungry."

Yaz took them, "why are you doing this?" She was still a little suspicious. 

He sat down on the bottom step. "I saw your girlfriend yesterday while I was shopping. She was with a friend I guess? Brunette - kinda short." 

"Clara," Yaz muttered. "Was she okay?"

"I dunno. She looked… withdrawn I guess. I heard them talking, nothing special. She was worried you would be hungry so I grabbed those," he shrugged.

Yaz felt tears building up in her eyes, she couldn't let her reserve fold now. "Why can't you just let me go? I can see you care. Just let me leave. I can falsify it so it looks like I broke out…"

"No!" He stood up as he shouted. "Just eat the damn food and shut up." 

With that, he left. If she wasn't so hungry she would have thrown the food at the wall in frustration. She moved too quickly, let emotions get the better of her. That could have been her final chance.

* * *

The last 3 days had been the worst of her life. Jane had run out of things to bake. Clara had tried to take her shopping yesterday but she'd had a huge breakdown in the middle of town and that had only set her back further. The brunette was running out of ideas - she called in reinforcements.

It had been nearly 48 hours since Jason had told them who the police had suspected and it only made things worse. 

"It's my fault, it's all my fault." 

Jane would repeat that over and over again. Clara couldn't stop it. She was grateful when there was a knock on the door. 

After reassuring Jane it was nothing to worry about, she answered the door and found her father on the other side. Immediately she enveloped him in a hug. "Thank you for coming." 

"You know I'd always do anything for my daughters," he replied. Clara loved that he referred to them like that. "How's she doing?"

"Much the same. Dad listen, there's something I didn't tell you on the phone," Clara shut the front door but kept him in the lobby. "The police think that the guys who took Yaz… they think it's the same three that beat up Jane." 

"The night they met?" he questioned. "But that was 4 years ago." 

Clara nodded, "guess when they got released." 

"Oh…" he put two and two together. That court case stuck in all their memories. 

"She's blaming herself now. I can't stop it. She needs someone else - she needs you," Clara told him. 

Dave nodded, "leave it to me. Go and take a rest, you look tired." Clara didn't argue and left him to go into the lounge. 

Jane didn't respond when the door opened again. Dave walked over slowly and sat down beside her. "Hey kiddo." That got her attention and Jane almost launched herself on him. Dave held her tight, "Clara told me everything." 

"It's my fault. It's my fault she's gone and my fault she might be-" she couldn't say it. 

Dave kissed her head softly, "hush now. That's not true. You didn't do this." 

"Then why does it feel like I did? Why did they take her and not me?" Jane cried. 

"I don't have the answers to that sweetheart, but you can't be blaming yourself. What would Yaz have to say about that hm?" he questioned.

Jane huffed a little, "Clara keeps saying that too."

"She's a sensible girl with great genes, what can I say?" He tried to make light of it a little. "Yaz is sensible too Jane. She will be doing everything possible to get back to you." 

"I hope you're right," Jane settled into his grasp. 

"When have I ever let you down kiddo?"

Dave hoped this wouldn't be the first time. He could only watch as Jane drifted into a light sleep and prayed the rest would do her good.

* * *

2 more days passed with the same routine of water bottles being chucked in. The younger guy hadn't been back, but Yaz wasn't surprised. 

The small amount of food had helped a little, but that was 2 days ago and now she could barely bring herself to sit up. Her brain wouldn't work enough to work anything else out. She slept more than she didn't and that scared her. The more time passed the more hope she lost. If it had been 5 days, if she was right, that made it Friday now. Maybe Saturday depending on what time the light actually shone in. 

She wondered how Jane was coping, she hoped she was okay. Clara was with her - that was good to know. Maybe Dave would be there too - he was great to Jane, Yaz really liked him. He got on well with her own father. 

Oh gosh her family. Her Mum would be in pieces, her Dad would be lost and her sister… she had almost been through this once already. Sonya would probably be the strongest of them all, hopefully keeping her parents going. 

Yaz took a deep breath - why did that feel like it was getting harder? Her family, her friends, everyone would be affected by this. They were all out there wondering. 

Her colleagues would be fighting for her right? Surely. They would be looking. They had to be looking. Did they think she was dead? The stats say if you don't find a missing person within 48 hours their chance of being alive drops significantly. Maybe they were looking for her body. 

She took another breath - not as deep this time. Breathing was an effort now. Yaz lay herself down on the floor and used her arms as a pillow. She couldn't fight any longer. Maybe a bit of sleep wouldn't hurt.

The door opened, she saw someone coming downstairs. It was the young guy. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She gave up. Her eyes shut. Yaz let the darkness overwhelm her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAND the secret's out. Boom. Lemme know what you think! I've been on a writing frenzy in the last couple of days so I've got chapters in the bank now. I'll post the next one tomorrow night :)


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me an extra day to get this up... rough week! Anyway - enjoy!

It was the middle of the night when Jason's phone rang, not that he'd slept much. The clock says 03.23. He grabbed the phone from the night stand and answered it quickly. 

"We've had a tip off Jason. We might have her," his boss spoke down the phone - immediately bringing alertness to Jason's eyes. 

He hesitated before asking the next question. "Alive or dead sir?" 

There was a sympathetic sigh from the end of the phone. "We don't know. Just a location. It's about a mile from where we had tracked her to and the cabin is pretty all hidden. Do you want to be there?"

"Yes, of course," Jason replied, already grabbing his uniform.

"I'll be outside yours in 5 minutes," Peter replied and hung up 

Jason practically threw his uniform on and jogged downstairs to do his boots. The movement hadn't gone unnoticed.

"Where are you going?" He looked up to see Clara at the top of the stairs. Jason tied his second lace and gestured for her to come down so he could speak quietly. 

"They've had a tip off. We might have found her. That's all I know. I don't want to tell Jane in case it's false or… worse. I swear I'll call as soon as I know." 

Clara nodded, "stay safe out there." 

Jason smiled gratefully and they heard the car outside - his cue to leave. Clara shut the door behind him and locked it. Unable to think about sleeping again she went to the kitchen and flicked the kettle on.

"Everything okay?" 

She hadn't heard her Dad come down the stairs so the noise made her jump. "Yes, yeah sorry. Jason's gone out, they might know where Yaz is. Nothing is certain so I'm not waking Jane yet." 

"Make us one of those then, I'll keep you company."

* * *

Peter wasn't kidding when he said the cabin was hidden. They had to walk the final bit and even then it was carefully disguised. Everyone had their instructions and they stood in formation outside the front door. 

There was complete silence for a moment before the lead officer kicked the door down and everyone ran in. Shouts of 'clear' could be heard from every room. Jason followed in once the floor had been deemed safe and that's when he heard the call. "Hey there's a locked door over here!"

He ran over. The door had 3 bolts and a key lock. Thankfully - they had the tools. He stood back while his colleagues broke it down. The moment he could, Jason was down the stairs. 

The basement was pitch black and it took a moment to find the light, but once it was on he spotted her.

Yaz was curled up in the corner. He ran over, calling her name. He knelt on the ground beside her but she didn't respond. Jason could feel his heart pounding hard as he put two fingers against her neck to feel for a pulse. Everyone watched him in silence. Eventually he nodded. "Someone get an ambulance here now!" He called out before turning his attention back to her. "You're gonna be fine Yaz, we've got you now." 

The air ambulance arrived not long after. They were able to land in the field not far from the cabin. Jason had to step back and let them take over for now. He reached for his phone and moved to the corner of the room before calling Clara.

She answered in one ring. "What's happened?"

"We've got her. She's alive but not responding to us. They're air lifting her to hospital shortly," he explained, voice shaky. 

Clara let out the breath she had been holding. "Thank you for letting me know. And well done, she's gonna be so glad you were there." 

"I hope so," he replied. "See you at the hospital?"

"Yeah. I'll wake Jane now and call her parents. You focus on Yaz."

Jason hung up after thanking Clara. There was no more he could do for now.

* * *

Dave drove Clara and Jane out to the hospital. Jane was a nervous wreck and Clara was doing her best to keep her calm. "Deep breaths. Remember what I said." 

"I know, she needs me to be calm. I'm just trying to get all the nerves out," Jane explained. 

"Well in the nicest way love, it feels like I'm driving in an earthquake," Dave chuckled. 

Jane smiled a sheepish apology into the mirror for him and stopped jiggling her legs. Clara reached over and took her hand, "one step at a time." 

"Yeah…" Jane replied and stared out of the window.

They arrived not long after and met her parents in the entrance. Dave went to find out where they needed to go while Najia gave Jane a huge hug. Clara went to step in, knowing how Jane normally reacted to impromptu contact, but she stopped when she realised Jane was returning the gesture. 

The moment was only broken when a nurse came over to the group of them. "You're PC Khan's family?" she asked. 

"How is she? Can we see her?" Hakim asked.

"They're just assessing Yasmin at the moment. Why don't you come with me and I can explain a bit. There's a room you can wait in more privacy," she led them through. 

Only once the door was shut behind them did she speak again. "Yasmin is being well looked after. There is a huge team with her to stabilise her and work out what's happened. External injuries seem minimal which is a good sign, but we suspect she's had very little to eat and drink so her body has started to shut down. Hopefully with fluids and nutrients she should start to improve, but until she wakes up it's difficult to say what other effects there may have been." 

Yaz's parents were thanking the nurse, but Clara noticed Jane had sat down in the corner on the floor. She went to go over herself, but her Dad got there first. 

"They're looking after her now love," he sat next to her and carefully put an arm around her. "I know you're desperate to see her, but they need everything to be stable first."

"I know," Jane replied quietly. "That's why I sat here. All my instincts tell me to run out and find her but I can't - I won't." 

Dave rubbed the top of her arm, "you're doing great kiddo. Want me to get you anything?" 

"I'll do a tea run," Clara interrupted. In all honesty she needed to feel useful. "Won't be long."

She left in the direction of the drinks machine and started to make the teas one by one, not paying much attention until 3 people ran behind her towards the room at the bottom. Something told her to follow them, so she did. Not all the way in, Clara stopped at the window and looked in through the glass. Yaz was lying on the bed and shaking - having some sort of seizure. There were alarms going off everywhere and multiple staff trying to help her. She couldn't stop watching them, not until the seizure subsided. Then she remembered the tea - and that Yaz's family had no idea about any of this. 

Finally her resolve faltered. All week she had held it together for her friend, but Yaz was her friend too. Her and Jane had been together for years, she was one of the gang now. As Clara finished making the drinks she let a few tears fall, determined to get it out before she returned to the family room. Yaz would be okay. 

She had to be. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments make me smile a lot! Thank you x


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back dear readers, let's delve straight back in...

It felt like hours, but Jane had been watching the clock and it had only been 32 minutes and 17 seconds since she had sat in the corner. 

Everyone else took places on various chairs and sofas, light conversation filling the room to break the silence. Jane clutched onto the now empty cup, blanking out the noise around her and focusing on keeping calm. 

She only noticed the door had opened when everyone stood up. 

"We've got Yasmin stabilised now. She's had a couple of seizures so we've done some extra scans which we are awaiting results for, but if a couple of you would like to go in then you're welcome now. No more than 2 at a time for now," the nurse from earlier spoke to them.

Jane wanted to get up and run to Yaz, but she looked up and saw her parents standing there. "You two should go, she needs her Mum and Dad." 

"Are you sure Jane?" Najia asked. "Yaz will want you there."

"I can go later, go on," Jane willed them to go before she changed her mind. Hakim and Najia both smiled gratefully and followed the nurse out.

Clara moved chairs to sit next to where Jane and her Dad were on the floor, "that was really kind."

"It's their daughter," she shrugged. "And… and I'm a bit scared. I don't want to mess up."

"You won't mess up love," Dave told her. "Clara'll go in with you when it's time." 

"I feel like a teenager again, and not in a good way."

Dave pulled her a little closer, "well I quite like having you girls back every now and then," he gestured to Clara to sit the other side of him so she did and Dave put his other arm around her. "You're always gonna be my girls."

* * *

_ The light hurts. _

That's the first thing Yaz thought when she opened her eyes - and then immediately shut them again. She had spent so long in darkness and now it was so bright. 

She could hear voices… her parents. Her Mum was saying her name over and over and her Dad kept saying 'we're here love'. She wanted to look at them, she tried again but couldn't keep her eyes open. 

The stress was overwhelming. She felt herself fighting them, or trying to, almost against her will. Her Mum asked what was wrong, but she couldn't reply. Then her Dad said something that she didn't catch, and her Mum left. She didn't know where she was - but if her parents were there that had to be good right? 

The door opened with a crash and there were two sets of footsteps. No… three. 

"Turn the lights off." 

That was Jane's voice. She really was okay. 

"It's darker now." Her voice was closer this time. "It's just me, your parents and Clara here - but she's mostly here to keep an eye on me."

Slowly she let her eyes flicker open. 

"See? You're safe now. You're in hospital, Jason found you. They're giving you fluids and a feed to get you the nutrients you need - that's what all the tubes are. The wires are just monitoring your heart," Jane almost flicked into med student mode, explaining it all to her. "Don't worry, I'm not letting you out of my sight again anytime soon." 

Yaz managed to move her hand to find Jane's, pulling it to her cheek so she could lean into it. Jane noticed her other hand reaching out. "Najia," she muttered and pointed towards the hand. Yaz's Mum walked over and took her daughter's hand. "We're here now baby."

* * *

After that Jane basically refused to leave her side other than to eat and go to the loo. Yaz would sleep a lot, and when she was awake she still didn't talk. She was on a ward now, but given the circumstances the staff had let her have open visiting from Jane and her family. 

Jason would come in a lot too. He had stayed at the scene until they'd collected every scrap of evidence - these guys would be caught and he was determined. 

Until they were caught, there were officers stationed outside of the side room that Yaz was in for protection. They rotated, but all were nice enough. Jane surmised that Jason had probably given them all a bit of a lecture - he was very protective over Yaz. She loved that Yaz had someone like that at work. 

Najia and Hakim came twice a day, usually with food for Jane too. She would often leave while they were there to give them space, but rarely went further than just outside the door. Sometimes Sonya would tag along - Jane had a new found respect for her now. 

The rest of the time, Jane stayed sitting by her side. Sometimes she would tell her stories - whatever popped into her head - just something to break the silence. 

She had been in the hospital just over 3 days now. It was Wednesday morning and Jane had been sleeping in the chair. 

"That doesn't look comfortable."

It took a moment for Jane to register who was speaking. She opened her eyes and glanced around the room, but there was nobody else there. Finally her gaze settled on Yaz who was looking at her. "You're talking?"

"No," Yaz replied. Her voice was weak, but the little smirk on her face spoke for her. 

Jane rolled her eyes, "maybe I preferred it when you weren't talking." 

"Liar," she said again. "I feel stronger today, that's good right?"

"Definitely," Jane leant over to rest on the edge of the bed and stroked Yaz's hair back from her face. "Don't wear yourself out too quickly though."

"Is that a polite way of asking me to shut up?" Yaz asked.

"I think it's unfair that the first thing you regain is your ability to mock me," Jane complained. 

Yaz smiled, "you missed it really."

"I missed everything," the blonde lent further down so their foreheads were touching. "It's so good to hear your voice again." 

"It's been nice to listen to you," Yaz replied. "It reminds me I'm not alone anymore." 

Jane felt her eyes watering but tried to blink it away. "You're never gonna be alone again okay? I'm making sure of that. I can't let you be hurt again." 

"I wasn't hurt, not really," she muttered.

"You look pretty hurt to me Yaz," Jane rubbed her cheek softly. "You need to be honest with me. You promised."

Yaz shuffled over on the bed slightly, although it was a bit of effort. Jane sat up as she did. "Can you lie with me? I just need to feel you."

"I mean I'm not technically allowed…" Jane looked between the bed and the door. 

"Nobody's gonna say no to the girl who got kidnapped for 5 days. Please Jane, I've missed being held."

Yaz was right. Nobody could say no to her, and Jane was included. She carefully lay beside her and helped Yaz to lay her head on Jane's chest. "Tell me how you feel." 

"Not now, I'm tired," Yaz replied. Jane nodded, she wasn't going to force her. "I will though, I promise." 

Jane kissed the top of her head softly, "I know. Rest now, I'll still be here when you wake." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooft! Let me know what you think friends xx


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a terrible human I've had this chapter ready to post for a solid week and forgot to put it up! I'm so sorry. Enjoy guys!!

The next time Yaz woke up Jane was asleep, but her Mum was sitting in the chair beside her. Yaz watched her for a moment. She was just reading, but it was nice to see her there. Eventually she decides to break the silence. "Hey Mum," she spoke quietly so as not to wake Jane - and speaking still felt like a bit of an effort. 

"Well this is a new development," Najia sat up a little and put her book down. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired mostly. I made Jane get in the bed so she could hold me, I missed that," Yaz told her. 

Najia nodded, "I'm just so glad you're back. Those 5 days…" 

"Mum I'm here, I'm gonna be fine. Don't get yourself upset again," Yaz reached out for her hand. "I can't imagine how you must have been feeling, not knowing where I was 'n' that, but I'm back now. I'm determined not to let it affect me anymore than it has already. I need to look forward now - they will find them and there's enough evidence for them to go down - I made sure of that - so I won't have to face them again." 

Najia squeezed her hand slightly, "do you- has anyone told you who it was yet?" 

"No. I know they know, but I couldn't exactly ask. Sort of expected Jane or Jason to say something but they never did," she shrugged. "Do you know?"

Her Mum nodded, "is Jane still sleeping?"

Yaz glanced up to check, "yeah she's sound asleep, why?" 

"The guys who took you," Najia had to pause to get those words out properly, "they were the three guys who beat Jane up that night you met. The police suspect it was revenge on both of you - you for putting them away and Jane for reporting it." 

Yaz looked up to Jane again, tears in her eyes. "Please tell me she hasn't been blaming herself." There was silence from her Mum. "Oh Jane…" she sighed softly. "Thanks for telling me Mum." 

"Are you okay?" Najia asked and Yaz looked back round to her.

"Yeah, I just think Jane and I need to have a chat. I did promise her we would after all," she explained. 

Najia smiled gently, "you'll both get through it together. I'll leave you be for now - be back later. Let me know if the doctor says you can eat - your father is desperate to bring you some food in." 

"Can you lie to him for me then? I'm officially never eating again," Yaz joked which made her Mum chuckle. "I'll see you later Mum, love you." 

* * *

Jane took a while to wake up, making Yaz wonder just how little she had slept recently. The nurses had been in a couple of times to do her obs and the medical team had been on their rounds. 

“She still out?” the nurse asked. 

Yaz nodded, “I guess she’s not slept much this week. I’m glad I got her to lie down now.” 

“Well I’ve just been told they’ve given you the go ahead to have some proper food so I’ve bought you the dinner menu. Anything you fancy in the meantime?” 

“At this point I’ll literally take anything,” Yaz chuckled. “Toast maybe?” 

“I can do toast. I’ll make extra so you can both have some,” she smiled and left.

As the door shut, Jane stirred and Yaz watched while her girlfriend woke. “Hey sleepyhead,” she kissed her cheek. “You looked so peaceful.”

Jane was still coming to and finally glanced the clock. “Oh-” 

“Don’t worry, I’ve been fine and the nurses just worked around you. I’ve been given the go ahead to eat too so there’s toast incoming,” she reassured her. Yaz waited a few moments before starting her next line of conversation. "My Mum was here earlier, we had a good chat. She… she told me who it was." 

Jane's eyes widened, Yaz could see her start to panic. "I'm sorry I'm really sorry I-"

"Jane. Stop. It is not your fault that any of this happened. They came after me because I got them sent down, not because of you," Yaz placed a hand on her cheek. "They're gonna get them and they'll be locked away for a long time, we are safe now."

The blonde sat up, "I should've told you, I'm sorry. I'm trying really hard not to blame myself I swear, Clara worked hard on that. I just… I need you to be honest with me Yaz. Are you okay?" 

Yaz glanced down at where their hands had automatically entwined. "I'm scared of being alone again. When you're here and I can feel you, that's okay - I feel normal again. But the thought of being alone… it scares me. Even when you use the loo and I can't see you, which is stupid because you're just behind that door, but I'm scared. I'm not scared of being hurt or the guys coming back, I'm just scared of being  _ alone. _ "

Jane held her a little tighter, squeezing her hand. "We are gonna get through this together, but you need to be honest with the doctor too so they can get you help. I know you Yaz, I know you hate looking weak, but this isn't weakness. Asking for help is a strength, and whatever you do I am with you all the way." 

"What if I never get back to who I was?" Yaz asked quietly. 

That question shocked Jane. There was a fear in her girlfriend's eyes that she had never seen before. It took her a moment, but Jane clicked onto what was bothering Yaz. Thank goodness she'd got better at reading her over the years. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise you. We fight this together all the way - good and bad." 

Yaz didn't reply, she simply lay her head back down on Jane's chest and let her wipe stray tears away. She just needed to let it out. Jane knew she wasn't completely fine, but sometimes Yaz just needed time to explain how she felt. As she lay there, Jane gently stroked her hair to soothe her, not forcing anything more. 

The silence was only broken by the door opening, "sorry that took so long I had to go on a bread hunt and- oh, is everything okay?" The nurse placed the toast down on the table. Jane nodded and Yaz didn't reply.

"Leave it there, I'll make sure she eats in a bit," Jane replied quietly. The nurse nodded and left them to it for now. 

They didn't speak much for the rest of the day, because they didn't need to. Yaz's family came to visit and that gave Jane the chance to nip home to shower and change, but she was back within the hour. When she returned they were playing cards so Jane sat herself in the corner of the room to observe. She watched Yaz nudge her sister when they joked and pretend to like her Dad's food. She saw how much Yaz cherished each little hug from her Mum and how she would occasionally glance up to where she was sat and smile. 

Things would be okay, Jane was going to make damn sure of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try and get more regular at updating. We are slowly reaching the end.
> 
> I'm loving exploring the dynamic between the two and how they have to support each other alternately to get through. What a great fit they are...


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello more cuteness and angst incoming...

“We’ve got them,” Jason burst into the room. Yaz looked up from the book she was reading to see her friend practically out of breath. She had been reading to try and distract herself while Jane was at home and her Mum had left.

"Did you run from the scene or something?" she asked.

Jason rolled his eyes and sat down. Yaz practically through her jug of water at him. "All three of them Yaz, they've been arrested," he poured out some water. 

As he said it she felt this overwhelming relief, they were gone. She could leave the hospital and she would be safe now. "Thank you," she smiled gently at him. 

"What for?" he asked. "I was just doing my job."

Yaz sighed and briefly considered throwing her pillow at him. "You haven't stopped this whole time - don't think I haven't checked. You've fought so hard for me and I will always be grateful for that. I've also barely seen you since I've been here - which I get - but can I please have a hug?

She didn't have to ask twice. Jason immediately went over and they shared a hug. "You're gonna be fine now. We are all here to help you. Nobody is expecting you back to work anytime soon." 

"Why? I want to get back to normal Jase," Yaz replied as they let go of each other. "I can't just be stuck at home." 

"There is no way they will let you back yet. Take some time to recover Yaz," he told her. "You can stay at mine if you need to - both of you." 

Yaz shook her head, "I need my own place back if nothing else, but you can pop in anytime - I'll need updating on all the work gossip somehow." 

"I think you're the talk of the town at the moment," Jason sat down in the chair beside her. 

"I have no doubt. You should tell then I've grown a second head or something," she chuckled. 

Jason laughed too, "you're daft you are."

"Comes from having you as a partner for so long," Yaz grinned. "Come on there must have been something else happening?"

* * *

Jason stayed until Jane got back. She was gone longer than usual, but Yaz didn't question it - she deserved a break. It seemed she already knew they had caught the 3 men. Yaz assumed that was Jason's doing. They said goodbye to him and Jane took her place back on the bed beside Yaz. "How are you feeling?"

"Relieved. I want to get home now I know it's safe," she relaxed back into her girlfriend. Then something occurred to her. "Oh my gosh Jane, your exams?! I completely forgot… I'm sorry. All of this and-"

Jane rubbed her hair and kissed her forehead, "that's where I went this morning. The uni have been amazing and offered to postpone but once I knew your Mum could sit with you… not that she's here now…" 

"She had to run to work, I was fine Jane. Anyway - Jason appeared pretty soon after," Yaz reassured her. "So all that rubbish about wanting to tidy the place up…"

"Yeah the flat is still a mess, but that's the main exam done and I've got my practical on Friday. I didn't want you to worry," Jane shrugged. "I'm fine, Clara has been great and they're gonna give me special consideration or whatever that means."

Yaz reached for Jane's hand and linked their fingers, "maybe I can get home to celebrate the end of your exams."

"Maybe," Jane replied quietly and kissed her head again. "Just don't rush yourself, I want you to be ready."

And a few days later she was ready. With a deadline to work towards Yaz found herself more determined to be deemed well enough to leave. Her three attackers had not been given bail which was a relief and so she had worked hard. Finally she got the news she wanted to hear.

"Your nutrition levels are back up and the physio says your strength is reasonable. The psych evaluation was reassuring - I think we can let you go home today," the doctor reported. 

Yaz immediately smiled, but her mother interrupted. "Are you sure?"

"Mum I'm doing well, I want to go home, honestly you're more worried about this than I am," she rolled her eyes. "Jane and I have talked about it - we've got plans in place. Just trust me, please?"

Najia sat back down and nodded. The doctor smiled at the interaction before continuing. "A lot of your follow up will be done in house and we've liased with your workplace about that, but you'll get appointments through for the dietician and a follow up with myself just to track your progress. You've done well."

"Had a reason to," Yaz shrugged and glanced at the clock. "Wonder how she's getting on…"

* * *

_ Focus on your breathing _

_ Focus _

_ One two three four… _

_ But how many bones are there in the hand again?  _

_ Doesn't matter Jane they're not gonna ask you that. _

_ Ergh stop arguing with yourself. Maybe stop referring to yourself in the third person too.  _

"Jane Smith?" 

Slowly she stood up and followed the assessor into the room. It was going to be fine. It had to be. 

The first station eased her nerves a little - she could do x-rays, especially after the last few days. The doctors on Yaz's ward had found out (thanks to her mouthy girlfriend) that she had her exams and helped her loads - showing her every interesting thing they came across. She'd looked at a pneumothorax only yesterday so that was a simple diagnosis.

The second station was harder. Cardiology wasn't her strongest and it took a lot more effort and focus. The patient was hard to understand - through no fault of his own - but Jane found herself stressing out that she was going to miss something. It seemed to go on forever, but eventually it was over.

Stations three and four rebuilt her confidence as both were paediatric based. She practically flew through them and had a great time entertaining the children (and their mothers). 

The final station was different. A trauma station. Jane had done her A&E placement and she had been great, but that's before everything had happened. The noise in the room very quickly overwhelmed her. She was supposed to be telling these people what to do but they just stood and stared at her - waiting until she said something.

_ It's not her. It's not even real Jane, it's an exam. _

_ You're doing it again. _

_ Shut up I'm trying to think.  _

_ Why are you telling yourself to shut up? _

_ This is not what you need to be doing now. Treat the patient! Remember what Yaz said - focus on one thing at a time. _

"Jane do you need to step out? It's fine if you need to take a moment," her supervisor commented. 

She took a deep breath, "no I'm good now. Let's go." 

Suddenly everything fell into place and the instructions flowed out on autopilot. Before she knew it the whole thing was over and her supervisor was walking her out. "We're all really impressed you managed this week. How is Yasmin doing?"

"Improving everyday, I'm just glad this is over so I can focus on her more for a while," Jane spoke honestly. 

"Anything we can do to help-"

"I know, just shout," she grabbed her bag from the locker. "See ya!"

As soon as Jane was out the building she dug her phone out and switched it on, watching nervously for the screen to come up. She had to leave well before the ward round that morning and it was well into the afternoon at this point - the longest she had left Yaz since her admission. 

_ Yaz<3: Hey dufus, guess who's home! Mum's hanging around till you get back so please don't be long, I'm going crazy. I'd say I hope the exam went well but you'll have smashed it. Now please be quick she's not even letting me make my own tea! Xx  _

There was a picture attached of Yaz lying on the sofa, her Mum in the background and Jane laughed at the frustrated expression on her girlfriend's face. 

_ Me: Be there in 15. Can't wait to have you back in our bed Xx _

Yaz was home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!! I do love writing these two lovely women.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again my lovelies! Back with another one :). Incase you hadn't seen, I've also started writing a new AU where 13 is basically human Banksy. I'm having a blast! Go check it out!
> 
> In the meantime - here we go again.

Jane couldn't get home quick enough. She burst through the door and to the lounge where Yaz was waiting. "You're actually here," she kissed her. 

"Jane," Yaz said fairly sternly. 

"Shhh I just need to take this in," she rested their foreheads together.

Yaz smiled, "I know baby but can you take in the rest of the room too?" 

Confused, Jane stood back up and looked around, her jaw dropping. Somehow in her focussed state she had missed how many people were in the room. Clara, Dave, Danny, Amy, Rory and Jason were all there. "I don't understand-"

"Yaz called us," Dave took charge of explaining. "She explained how you've always celebrated the final exam of each year and she wanted to do something so we took action." 

Now Jane noticed the table in the corner lined with presents and a cake, there were balloons on the wall and a banner reading ' _ You're almost a doctor! Almost.' -  _ that was Clara's doing no doubt. 

"I don't know what to say," she sat down on the sofa next to Yaz while she took it in. Yaz sat herself up more so she could take Jane's hand. "You're meant to be taking it easy."

"I am! I didn't do any of this, just made the calls," she told her girlfriend. "I know you want to fuss over me and spend time together but we've got ages to do that. Just enjoy yourself, please?" 

"And hurry up about it because I really want cake," Clara moaned. 

Jane chuckled, "fine! Fine you get your way. It's nice to have all my friends here I guess."

Having got her way, Yaz sat back and watched her speaking to everyone. Jane relaxed as time went on and the general feeling in the room was one of enjoyment and happiness. 

"You did good kid," Jason sat down beside her. "She's really enjoying herself."

Yaz smiled and leant her head on his shoulder, "you're only 2 years older than me you know?" She tutted at the nickname. "Anyway, that was the whole point. It's not just for her though - it's all of you. You've been through a lot the last couple of weeks and you all deserve a bit of a break." 

"Well they've given me the week off so don't worry about that. I'm gonna fly out and visit my brother in Spain," he told her. 

"Fancy sneaking me in your suitcase?" Yaz joked. "Nah you enjoy yourself. Before you know it I'll be back fighting over the car keys with you."

They laughed and kept chatting away, all while observing everyone around them. Occasionally people would come over to Yaz, but she was quick to remind them that this wasn't about her. In truth she wasn't ready to open up to anyone else about her wa yet, and she just wanted to feel normal for a few hours. 

Jason left first as he was up early for his flight the next day. Dave left soon after him, but not after giving Jane and Clara huge hugs. Everyone else hung around and decided to drag Twister out of the cupboard so Yaz was quickly put on spinner duty. The evening was full of banter and laughter as they played and chatted and for a while everything felt almost normal. Only once everyone left and the flat was quiet did Yaz find herself thinking.

Jane had gone out to say goodbye and was probably having a chat with Clara, but the moment she was out of sight Yaz felt her senses heighten and her breathing raise. The noise of the front door closing behind them rang in her ears. She pulled her knees up for a moment and tried to calm her breathing. Jane would be back in a few minutes, just a few minutes. 

In an attempt to not lose control she started to tidy up instead. It was a slow process as everything was still an effort, but she needed to do something - anything. Unfortunately Yaz was just succeeding in getting more upset when she was unable to reach everything she needed to and eventually threw the bag of rubbish on the floor, just as Jane got back. 

"Hey what's going on?" Jane rushed over to her. Yaz just turned and pulled her into a tight hug, resting on her. "Talk to me," she kissed her head and gently rubbed her back. 

"I thought I'd be okay but then the door shut and I was alone and I tried to distract myself but I couldn't stretch to reach the stupid bottle and this was supposed to be a good evening for you and I've ruined it again-" 

Jane leaned back a little and put a finger to Yaz's lips to stop her. "You haven't ruined anything, I had a great evening okay? Maybe I should have thought before leaving you, but we are both learning everyday. Let's leave the tidying for now - I'm knackered so you definitely must be. I'm prescribing a good night's sleep cuddled up to your very attractive and comfortable girlfriend." 

"Where's she then?" Yaz quipped back, pausing to admire Jane's shocked face before answering honestly. "We are gonna get through this. I'm determined to get better, I guess sleep is a good place to start." 

* * *

Yaz woke up the next morning with a start, but quickly calmed when she assessed her surroundings. Jane was still asleep beside her so Yaz shuffled a little closer and moved under her arm which Jane subconsciously wrapped around her. It was just gone 8 and she had no reason to move so she just lay in the safety of her girlfriend's grasp. With her exams done she had 4 weeks off now - in a way the timing couldn't have been better. Maybe it was selfish, but Yaz knew this meant she didn't have to leave her. 

The silence was deafening her so she reached for the remote and turned the TV on quietly for a bit of background noise. What she didn't expect to see was her own face - she was still news. Of course she was. When the picture of her disappeared it was replaced by those of 3 men - her captors. She recognised them now of course. 

Suddenly the remote was pulled from her hand and the TV turned off. "Yaz…"

"Don't say it," she muttered while staring at the blank screen. "I hate this bit. Everyone knows my face now - I can't ever shake that. And them… they're gonna be everywhere."

"Not forever," Jane pulled her into a hug. "They'll be put behind bars and you'll never have to see them again." 

Yaz sighed, "I just want to be happy again. I miss being happy." 

"Small steps," Jane kissed her head softly, "how about breakfast in bed?"

"Oh yeah because I haven't had that at all recently," Yaz pointed out. 

"Okay, breakfast on the sofa with blankets and one of those rubbish soaps you like watching?" Jane suggested.

"That could work." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I can never just leave them happy. Maybe one day...
> 
> Let me know what you think <3


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I must confess this is the last chapter I have in the bank for this. I can't 100% decide what to write next, but I reckon it will finish at chapter 30 (I do know the end point!). 
> 
> Lots of love to you all x

They got into some sort of routine, but it was mostly just lying on the sofa together with the odd physio break. Hospital appointments were the only thing Yaz had left the house for until today. She'd been awake since 4am staring at the ceiling. Around 6am she felt Jane's arm snake around her waist and the warmth of her body moving closer. "You okay?" She mumbled and kissed the top of her shoulder lazily. 

"Mmm, just thinking. Go back to sleep," Yaz muttered in return, letting her arm rest around Jane's back. 

In her half asleep state it didn't take long for Jane to drift back off which Yaz was grateful for - she needed some time to process her own thoughts right now.

Today was her first counselling session at work. Jane wouldn't be able to come in. Jason was going to meet her, but he had text yesterday saying he picked up a bug on the flight home and wouldn't be in work. That meant walking from the main entrance to the top floor on her own. She had mapped out the route in her head to avoid going by her own department and to use stairs over the lift. If she had it all planned out then it would be fine.

Didn't stop it being so terrifying. 

She was determined though, it was in her nature. All week she had forced herself to try and enjoy moments, and she had. Jane was amazing - always making her laugh and doing her best to make things normal. Her Mum fussed constantly, but Jane had managed to sweet talk her out of popping round 3 times a day. Yaz loved her, but there was only so much she could take. 

Yaz knew she would get there. She would get back to work and be the best person she could be, but it still seemed completely out of reach. That was what today was about really, making a start. It would be easy to say she didn't need any help, but that would be a lie. To get through this she had to be honest with herself and everyone else. 

Her phone buzzed. Yaz reached over without disturbing Jane and picked it up.

_ Ryan: Hope it goes well today mate, sure you'll do great. Give us a shout if you need anything.  _

Yaz smiled, Ryan had been great too. Regularly sent texts - mostly just telling her something stupid he or his colleagues had done that day to make her laugh. 

_ Cheers Ry. Pop in for a coffee soon. Try not to accidentally staple anyone today x  _

He sent back a gif of someone rolling their eyes which made her chuckle.

That gave her the determination she needed to get out of bed, leaving Jane a pillow to hug so she didn't wake up. She managed a shower and made breakfast, glancing back into the bedroom where she had left the door open only occasionally. 

Briefly she considered sitting in the lounge, but the bedroom wasn't visible from there. Instead Yaz settled for the chair in the corner of the bedroom and set up a film on her iPad for distraction purposes. Ultimately, Jane looking so cute and perfect was a bigger distraction than Disney films.

* * *

When they arrived at the station Yaz felt the anxiety rise again. Jane immediately reached for her hand. "I'm right out here. You're gonna do great - this is the first step." 

"Thanks," she squeezed Jane's hand. "Try not to get too bored in here for an hour."

"Me? Bored? I'll be fine!" Jane grinned.

"Say that to your already bobbing leg," Yaz rolled her eyes. "See you in an hour then," she opened the door. "Love you," she leaned in for a quick kiss and then ran off inside before she could change her mind.

Jane watched in the rearview mirror for Yaz to be out of sight before pulling out her laptop. She connected to her phone's data connection and clicked on her hidden tabs - it was time to go holiday shopping. 

When Yaz left the counselor's office she was surprised at how much lighter she felt already. She went to walk back the way she had come in but paused, instead turning to go into her department. 

Immediately she was greeted by multiple colleagues asking how she was and wishing her well. She thanked them and finally made it to her office so she could pick up some bits. There was a knock at the doors and Yaz looked up to see DCI Garrett stood at the door. "Sir," she greeted him.

"None of that today. It's good to see you looking so well Yasmin," he nodded.

"Thanks," she smiled gratefully. "Figured I would pick up a few things while I'm here - won't be long." 

Peter smiled in return, "surprised to see you in here so soon to be honest."

"Me too, I purposefully avoided it on the way up. Guess that session did me some good. How is everyone here?" She asked while going through the drawers in her desk.

"Getting there now. I think seeing you up and about will boost morale a bit too," he explained honestly.

Yaz smiled, "that was kind of the hope. I'd better get going before Jane starts panicking." 

"Ah yes. Look after yourself and don't rush back until you're ready," Peter replied before leaving her to it. 

Once he was gone she shut up the drawer and made her way back outside. Jane was turned in her seat and avidly watching the door and then Yaz walk to the car. "You managed to keep yourself entertained then?" Yaz asked as she shut the passenger door. 

"I booked us a holiday!" Jane sported proudly. "I was gonna keep that a secret a little longer but I was basically bursting to tell you."

Yaz couldn't help but laugh at her excited face, "really?" 

"Yeah! Not straight away like but in a few weeks since you've had some more physio and counselling. It's a beach place, all inclusive. We can relax and have a break from everything. Is that okay? Maybe I should have asked first…"

"Jane that's perfect! I'm so lucky to have you," she leant across and hugged her. "Thank you. My therapist just told me I should have a goal other than work and I think you just gave me one," Yaz smiled and kissed her gently. "I hope you know how amazing you are."

"Course I do, you tell me like 5 times a day," Jane replied casually. Yaz laughed at her reply. "You might be cute but you do confuse me Yaz." 

Yaz shrugged, "well it's working for me by the looks of it," she sat back. "I'm kinda tired now though, can we go home, get pizza and slob on the sofa?"

"Your wish is my command," Jane smiled and started the car. 


End file.
